Day 226: Regret (and other emotions) Supports Me To Change

I commit myself to when and as I see something is not working, to do something about it.

I commit myself to stop making threats - to stop threatening to change things - and to instead move myself to change.

I commit myself to stop myself from prolonging situations that aren't improving nor aligning with the way that is best for me to be living with by when and as I become aware that things aren't working nor in alignment with what's best, I will no longer attempt to reason, justify, explain away, or ignore it.  I will instead sit down with myself, clear myself of reactions, decide on an action that is best, and then move on the decided change.

I commit myself to be my own change and to no longer to anticipate, hope, or expect others to be that change for me.

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to become stuck in misery or being miserable by when and as I become miserable, I remind myself to use being miserable as a point of support to change - that the misery is not an acceptable long-term solution and within/as being miserable, I direct myself to explore solutions for myself that I can be satisfied with.

I commit myself to stop going into 'self-sacrifice' as have become aware that this personality and other similar to it, is a farce and an attempt to be something that hides something else about me that I have not wanted to face and change.

I commit myself to stop holding onto memories and times when things are 'okay' or 'good' by reminding myself that if things were actually 'good' or 'okay', they would always that way and would not go to the opposite polarity of being shit.  Additionally, when and as I see myself looking for the 'good times' and telling myself that things are or will be okay, I stop, breath, and look for the point that I am attempting to ignore or suppress and then re-direct myself to face it.

I commit myself to stop myself from allowing my fear of the unknown to influence my decisions by when and as I am in the process of making decisions, I will direct myself to make sure that I am clear on this point - and within this, also to remind myself of the potential within/as the unknown!

I commit myself to stopping fearing regret and fearing the potential that I may regret the decisions that I make.  The reality is that this is not the first nor the last time that I have become regretful - it's a part of me living, making changes, and fine-tuning. With regret, the point for me is to utilize it for my awareness to not repeat the same mistakes and patterns again.

I commit myself to stop fearing change by when and as the fear of change comes up in response to a changing situation or a situation the requires my direction to change, with all of the 'What ifs ...', thoughts, future projections, beliefs, and backchats come up, I stop, breath, self-forgive what's coming up then give myself time to look at the situation in a disciplined way and allow myself to embrace the opportunity to be creative with change and making changes.  I will work with change instead of running from it.

I commit myself to no longer allowing 'What If ...' thoughts to influence, direct and/or control my decisions or things about myself and living that I would like to change.

I commit myself to stopping myself from going into anger and frustration when things aren't going as I would like, hoped, and/or expected by when and as I see that things aren't going as I would have liked, how I would have hoped, or how I had expected, I stop and breath.  I self-forgive the information and emotions coming up and then re-direct myself to take a self-honest look at my self-expectations and what would be cool for me to live - as this is what is really required to be sorted out and worked on.

I commit myself to stopping myself from having temper tantrums by when and as the urge comes up to physically release all of my accumulated anger and frustration, I stop, I breath, I remove myself from the situation, continue to breath and be here until stable.  When and as the energy has dissipated, I self-forgive.  Here, I see, realize, and understand that my starting point with stopping and changing acting out temper tantrums is to NOT DO IT.

I commit myself to changing my responses by when and as I see myself expressing with words and behaviors that aren't cool, I look for what it is that I am attempting to express and for ways that I can express them in way that is not suppressing.  Here I utilize the tools of self-forgiveness and redefining myself.

I commit myself to utilize the moments that I become Miserable or Dissatisfied to look at where I have become miserable and dissatisfied with self and look at what it is that I can change about myself for self-fulfillment and self-satisfaction.

Day 225: Why Didn't I Do Something About It?

Self-Forgiveness for Day 224: Not So Obvious (To Me Anyway)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for allowing myself to live, for a very long time, in the way that I have been and for doing nothing about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry on about, draw out, and/or threaten to do something about a situation that wasn't best for years instead of making the move to actually change it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for prolonging the inevitable. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not making the move to change my situation much earlier when I had started to become aware that what I was living with/in/as was really fucked up and not cool at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and bitter at myself and others for me begging externally for my situation to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be miserable for as long as I did - not seeing, realizing, nor understanding that being miserable is fine for a moment to support myself to make changes - and not a long-term solution where I had accepted it as 'wear for the road' and had come to believe that being miserable is normal - a sort of sacrifice of self for the greater good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the times when things were 'good' or 'okay' - getting myself caught up in the polarity of 'this is shit' but 'it's good sometimes too'. Bouncing back and forth instead of slowing myself down and facing what has been underneath it: a fear of the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my 'What if ...' thoughts to influence me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and frustrated when things aren't going well, as I would want, or as I had expected - and for having held on to the anger and frustration and allowing it to accumulate into Rage instead of self-forgiving it in the moment and the moments that the same patterns have played out in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, with this accumulated anger, frustration, and rage, to act out with temper tantrums. become physically erratic, throw my arms up, point fingers, become intense, yell, and scream - not seeing that this is not an actual release of the accumulated emotions, only makes things worse, and conditions me to allow the behavior again - each time, going into it quicker than the last.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to change how I am responding to the situations that come up in my daily living - and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry and frustrated with myself for my responses that aren't cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become miserable and dissatisfied with myself and how I am not responding in way that is supportive for me and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become jealous and resentful of others whom I have been perceiving as having freedom to do as they like, the ability to adapt and/or bounce back from bad situations, and easily make changes for themselves - and get caught up in this - instead of seeing that Freedom, Adaptability, and Change are words and ways of being that have yet to be defined and lived by myself - and to stop what I am doing with the reactions and work on that.

Day 130: The Helpless Victim - Fear Dimension

In this blog I am writing Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction for the Fear Dimension of The Helpless Victim Character that emerged from realizations while walking a traumatic event.  The initial writing out of the dimensions of this character can be read here: Day 129: The Helpless Victim.

The process from which The Helpless Victim Character emerged can be referenced within these posts:

Day 124: The Day I Fell
Day 125: The Day I Fell - Self-Forgiveness
Day 126: The Day I Fell - Self-Realizations
Day 127: The Day I Fell - Self-Correction
Day 128: The Day I Fell - Self-Commitment





Writing from Day 129:
Fear Dimension
Ultimately, I fear being alone in this world.  I do not think that I can do this on my own and I do not think that I have the power to stand up for myself.  I fear standing up and saying, "From here, no more."  What will become of me if I do this?  What if I stand up and say, "No more" and that person writes me out of their life?  Worse, what if they hurt me, degrade me, defame me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me or the people/things that I have defined myself within and as?  What if I end up losing everything?

Fear Dimension - Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear being alone in the world and because of this I fear what will happen to me if I say, "From here no more."  I fear that I will fail on my own and that I will screw up because there are still many decisions that I must stand for and stand as that I do not trust that I can be responsible with.  I fear that I will lose everything: my home, those I care about, my safety, my comfort-zone, and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'being alone in the world' to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'what will happen to me if I say, "From here no more."' to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'I will fail on my own and that I will screw up because there are still many decisions that I must stand for and stand as that I do not trust that I can be responsible with' to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'losing everything: my home, those I care about, my safety, my comfort-zone, and my life' to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will hurt me, degrade me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'others will hurt me, degrade me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me' to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind where my fear of loss, being alone, and failure exists - I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I am here, breathing, and not participating in my mind that no fear exists - there is no fear of loss, no fear of being alone, and no fear of failure until I have a thought and imagine myself within the thought as possible event - I am aware that this is not real but time-and-time again I continue to place myself in situations within and as my imagination that always lead to something bad happening if/when/as I consider changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that when I engage a thought that I am accepting and allowing that thought to have power over me, direct me, and guide me until I find where I am scared and make myself believe that my thoughts and my fear are true and/or real.  I create my fear of loss, being alone, and failure simply to fear it.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my memories to assist me in my fear creation where I will go back to a time where I have experienced or been told that I will experience loss, being alone, and failure if/when/as I direct myself to go 'outside of the box' and/or go against my programming.  Instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that the past has no control over me and that I can change my behavior however or to whatever I see is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have scared myself into not making the best decisions for myself and my world.  I have used my fear of loss, failure, and being alone as excuses and reasons why I have done nothing to change my living and the world I live in in-spite of the evidence that I am required to act.

Fear Dimension - Self-Commitments
I commit myself to stop my fear of being alone, my fear of loss, and my fear of failure by re-Minding myself to breath when and as I see that I am engaging myself in a thought and/or imagination in my mind.  I commit myself to assist and support myself with the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction for the self-created points of fear that emerge when and as I stop, breath, and self-honestly investigate myself.

Within this same application of breathing and using the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction, I commit myself to stop fearing what would/could/will happen to me when and as I am required to make a decision that is best for me and will change my living.  As I write this, I see, realize, and understand that this fear of what would/could/will happen to me is further connected to my fear of change - so, I commit myself to stop making excuses and reasons for myself not to make changes and to instead, make the changes that I have shown myself that I am required to make because it is practical, responsible, in alignment with me being honest with myself and best for me to do so.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing my memories to assist me in not changing/making changes by re-Minding myself  that this does not benefit me nor anyone else in any way - it only feeds my fear to keep myself within my program, within control, and within my prison. 

To further assist and support myself with no longer accepting and allowing myself to play-out The Helpless Victim character, I commit myself to write out, self-forgive and self-correct a specific memory that's emerging that I did not see as being a traumatic event.

Day 115: How Am I Currently Living With and Directing Stress?

I'm pausing my Journey To Life Review to have a look at Traumatic Events and Stresses.  Within this, I will be writing about Traumatic Events and Stress, how I reacted to these events, what my energy experience was, how I made myself feel in my Mind, how I changed as a result, and how I can change now to no longer accept and allow the past to determine who I am.

To begin, I will be answering the question: How am I currently living with and directing Stress?



I work in an intense, high-stress industry where there is little time for re-directing oneself to stabilize oneself during the day where a day can be anywhere between 5 and 12 hours of non-stop physical movement within an extremely unstable physical, mental, and emotional environment.  Despite this, it is absolutely required that I be positive, up-beat, energetic, fun, in-control, pleasing, flexible and able to direct in any given moment/under any circumstances because I work one-on-one with the public and I manage a team of others that are within the same stresses and environment that I must keep stable in-order to get done what we must get done and in the way that we must do it to ensure that we exceed the expectations of the public.  

To be honest, my role is something that I get a great deal of satisfaction and pleasure from because we consistently provide satisfaction and pleasure to the public and in-turn, this is reflected back to those I work with at the end of the day as 'a job well-done' as well as profit in their pocket.

Anyway, my role at work is quite simple which is to maintain the appearance that 'everything is under-control', to make certain that operations run smoothly, to fix any problems immediately, and that the workers are stable and supported.  I will take-on anything extra to make this happen as we need every one of us to make it through the day and each and every one of us is expected to 'tough it out'. 

So allowing oneself to be overcome by stress is NOT an option.  In fact, those that can't handle the stress or are consistently negative are seen as separate from the group and are removed 99% of the time.

My way of handling stress is to separate myself from it completely. I do not allow myself to consider stressful events/moments as having any consequence to me and thus I will push it outward/away from me and say to myself, "I don't have time for this," or "I am better than this. I am above this," and suppress the stress.

When I am at home, I repeat the same pattern.  I tell myself that I must be strong, that I cannot go down, and that I must project myself as calm, stable, and flexible because I believe that this is what I must be for others.  I have not allowed myself the time to look at my stress and figure out why I experience stress with just about everything in my life as well as to realize the constant state of conflict that I exist in.  In-fact, I may have not seen it at all if it weren't for the assistance and support that was given to me when I became aware of the physical consequences of my stress.

Day 111: Journey To Life Review - Day 2 - Part 9

By MFM Art

Day 110: Journey To Life Review - Day 2 - Part 8, Day 108: Journey To Life - Day 2 - Part 7,  Day 107: Journey To Life Review - Day 2 - Part 6,  Day 106: Journey To Life Review - Day 2 - Part 5, Day 105: Journey To Life Review - Day 2 - Part 4,  Day 104: Journey To Life Review - Day 2 - Part 3, Day 103: Journey To Life Review - Day 2 - Part 2 and Day 102: Journey To Life Review - Day 2.

Consequence Dimension:

I see, realize, and understand the consequences of me accepting and allowing myself to follow my mind curiosity where I give into my desire for knowledge and information which leads to myself placing myself in situations that it would be best to not compromise myself and/or others in - when and as I am in this energy possessed state, I do not consider how my actions and/or words will effect myself, my self-development and others outside of myself.  Within this, because my starting point is from desire, I often lead myself to that 'place of no return' where if I have a moment of clarity I will continue doing what I have decided to do because I have already set myself in-motion - here, I begin experiencing a great amount of regret which I try to cover-up by justifying my motivation as being 'what's best' when it's really not.  Instead of allowing myself to stand up and say, "No - I'm not going there," I continue to stay in my pattern of taking the bait, going on an energy high, compromising myself, reacting in fear, covering up the negativity of myself that emerges, telling myself that my actions have no consequence/effect on myself and others, and then continuing the cycle again.

And so, I see, realize, and understand the Consequences that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring into my world and to myself as a result of me giving into an energy high addiction and then try to hide my fear, guilt, and regret with my 'It's going to be fine' character personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself without consideration for myself and my relationship with others into a 'place of no return' where instead of taking this moment as an opportunity to change where I make a decision that considers the outcome for myself and my relationship with myself and others, I placed my desires/wants/needs as imagined positive energy experiences that I created in my mind before physical, practical reality.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop this behavior pattern when and as I first saw the consequences during the first time that I participated in my mind curiosity where I could have woken up immediately and realized what I am doing to myself, my own life, and my relationships with others and from here, immediately made the decision to no more accept and allow it but to stick to my self-commitment to change, establish self-trust, and be a person with integrity.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to change and instead manipulate myself with reactions of fear, regret, and guilt from where I create another character personality as the 'It's Going To Be Fine' and within this character personality blame others outside of myself in response to the voices in my head as, "Deal with it," without seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am in-fact angry and frustrated with myself for doing something that could compromise my integrity and my relationship with others because I did not stop, slow myself down, and consider all of the consequences of my desired actions before making a decision to follow-through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself within and as my curiosity and continue to abdicate my responsibility and 'play naive/dumb' within this behavior when I know exactly what I am doing, accepting, and allowing - and further more how I go to the extent of blaming others 'for not allowing me to be free do what I want' and create additional characters of 'It's Going To Be Fine' and 'Deal With it' - rather than face the situation self-honestly and the consequences that I've manifested.  Instead of taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in, I hide within and as my mind.

Will continue.

Day 109: Are YOU A Shame?

I'm pausing from my walking my I Am Curious Character for a moment to take self-responsibility for a point that I was faced with today which was Shame.  When I was presented with a moment that I could experience shame, I put up my self-defenses immediately where instead of facing myself within and as a negative experience I was having with shame, I projected it onto others as being something that they're doing that's not best instead of allowing myself to see it within and as myself as my origin point.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience shame as a negative emotion where when I questioned myself, "Am I doing what's best?" and my answer was, "I could do better," I physically experienced a sinking in my stomach to which I responded to with, "But I tried - it may not have been a perfect effort but I did it when others did not."

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cover-up the negative experience of myself with neutral and positive responses.  Additionally, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to further separate myself from Shame by projecting it on to others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I constantly and continuously exist within and as self-doubt and self-distrust because I do not allow myself to become equal to my mind within and as my companion thoughts: I Am Not Good Enough. I could have done more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the Word Shame with the thoughts: I Am Not Good Enough. I could have done more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the Word Shame to trigger a pattern within and as me where I see myself negatively, have a physical pain reaction with which I invert into myself by suppressing it, smooth over my negative experience with neutral and positive affirmations, and then projecting the experience of myself on to others as a means to further separate myself from the Word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to separate myself from the Word Shame rather than embracing myself within and as Shame so that I am able to bring this piece of myself back to myself where I can take responsibility for the Word, see myself within and as the word, and give myself the opportunity to break myself from my trigger response to the Word so that I can self-correct myself and release myself from the pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject and flee from Shame because I have defined it as 'Bad'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the Word Shame to Bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a child, attach the Word Shame to anothers expression of anger and disappointment as they looked at me with a disgusted 'look' on their face and said, "You should be a-Shamed of yourself."  And when as the person that should be a-shamed, there was no way that I could see for myself fixing what I had done - it was permanent and could not be changed ever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use Shame as a point of acceptance for my actions and use it to tell myself I can not change, that it is fruitless to change and say within myself, "Why bother?"  Because it will not improve how another sees me.  I did not allow myself to change myself for myself within and as Shame - instead, I used it as an excuse or a backdoor out of my uncomfortable zone.

I forgive myself that I not accepted and allowed myself to see that I flee from Shame because I fear it - I fear being seen negatively - and specifically, I fear angering and disappointing others whom I see as greater than myself.  And because I did not see this, I did not see that Shame threatens my system of survival as I have become a People Pleaser to ensure my survival within the system.

When and as I see myself fleeing from myself within and as Shame, I stop.  I see, realize, and understand that there is a point to be faced within myself as Shame that I must be self-honest and equal-to.  I breath, I slow myself, and I investigate my triggers for/of/as the experience of Shame and direct myself to to self-forgive, self-correct, and self-commit so that I can effectively free myself from the pattern.

I commit myself to stopping myself from fleeing from Shame and to instead embrace myself within and as Shame self-honestly with writing, self-forgiveness, self-correction, and self-commitment until I am no longer reacting to the Word Shame and thus triggering a pattern of separation from the experience of Shame.

Day 101: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 14

Continuing here with Self-Commitments for my Journey To Life Review - Day 1.
For other posts within my Journey To Life Review - Day 1, see:

Day 100: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 13
Day 99: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 12
Day 98: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 11
Day 97: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 10
Day 96: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 9
Day 95: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 8
Day 94: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 7
Day 93: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 6
Day 92: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 5
Day 91: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 4
Day 90: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 3
Day 89: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 2
Day 88: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 1









I commit myself to not longer allow myself to be 'Just a Kid' and to instead become and be a mature, responsible human being with integrity.




I commit myself to no longer hide from my mistakes or hide behind others to avoid changing within my mistakes by standing, facing my mistakes, and making decisions to change.

I commit myself to equalize fun-time with work-time by giving each equal value.

I commit myself to stopping myself from attempting to hide and/or shut down when faced with a decision.  I no longer accept and allow myself to direct myself within, 'This is too much for me.  WHY do I have to do this? Why must I make a decision.  I am not equipped to deal with this.' by standing up, taking points on, using the tools of self-forgiveness and self correction, and getting support when I get into a problem that I am struggling to come up with a solution for.

I commit myself to removing the thought traps I've created for myself that lead me into playing out a character that does not value my life or any others by using the tools of self-forgiveness, self-correction, self-commitment, and self-application.

I commit myself to stopping myself from requiring others to remind me of the tasks that I need to complete by either completing a task in the moment or writing it down on my notepad for myself to direct myself to complete later. I commit myself to finishing the tasks on my notepad daily or as soon as possible.

I commit myself to stop myself from seeing myself as small, helpless, and/or having no voice nor significance - as I see, realize and understand that this is not me - that is a version of me that I have created from fear and is not real.  I commit myself to remove these illusions of myself within my previous commitments to remove my fears using the tools of writing and self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to stopping myself from re-living my past within and as my mind instead of being here by walking my path within and as my direction so that I can understand myself, release myself from reactions, and no longer take imaginary roller-coaster rides through twists-and-turns and ups-and-downs that I cannot change.  Instead, I bring my awareness here where I can change.

I commit myself to stopping myself from getting caught up in positive reactions because 'it feels good' and to put my positive reactions through the same process as negative reactions with self-forgiveness, self-correction, self-commitment, and self-application.

I commit myself to stopping myself from beating myself down with Guilt when and as I make a mistake in my self-commitments, self-application, and decisions.  I walk myself to the point where the Guilt is coming from and I self-forgive and make adjustments to my application. Additionally, I will be gentle with myself.

This is the end of my self-commitments for the moment within my Journey To Life Review - Day 1, and thus from here I will move on to review Day 2.

Day 99: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 12

Continuing here with Self-Commitments.
For other posts within my Journey To Life Review - Day 1, see:

Day 98: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 11

Day 97: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 10 

Day 96: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 9
Day 95: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 8
Day 94: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 7
Day 93: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 6
Day 92: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 5

Day 91: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 4

Day 90: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 3

Day 89: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 2

Day 88: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 1

I commit myself to stopping myself from placing unreal expectations on others within the realization that the consequence of myself projecting my ideal relationship on to another is myself experiencing emotional reactions such as disappointment, grief, frustration, and doubt.  Additionally within my process I have come to understand that within this projecting my desires onto others that I am timelooping as I have been doing this for most of my existence and nothing has improved or matched my imagination.  Within this, I commit myself to (for)giving myself what it is that I am looking to separate from myself and project on to others.  I bring it back to myself.

I commit myself to stop attempting to walk others processes for them by bringing the points back to myself, working with what I am given, and not taking what I experience with others as personal. When points emerge that I have walked and am clear within,  I will assist and support others with these points - as I have been assisted and supported.  And I will remind myself the only person one can change is oneself.

I commit myself to stopping myself from believing the thought, "This is impossible.  Nothing is going to change," by not allowing myself to follow the thought nor give the thought any validity with 'proof', 'reasons', and/or 'assumptions' that make it true/real for myself.  Instead, I assist and support myself with writing and self-forgiveness to understand what is behind the excuses like, 'This is impossible," and within this commit myself to shutting those back-doors out.

I commit myself to stopping myself from fighting for my 'individuality' by assisting and supporting myself with writing, self-forgiving, and self-correcting my 'I Am' thoughts and internal statements.

I commit myself no longer allow myself to fear 'being committed' to a mental institution as I have come to understand that those that are committed to mental institutions are a threat to life and as long I continue to walk my process, follow through on my self-commitments, and stand up when faced with consequence of what I have accepted and allowed as a responsible, dedicated human being with integrity than this fear cannot be a reality for me.

Additionally, I commit myself to releasing myself from such fears as 'being committed' as I see, realize, and understand that it is my acceptance and allowance of these fears is how I make it possible for myself to become 'crazy', 'out-of-control', unstable, and possessed - within this commitment, I will use the tools of writing and self-forgiveness to assist and support myself to release these fears.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to use my fears as an excuse to not stand up, change, and take responsibility for myself and my world.  When and as I am faced with my fears, I breath through my fears, I stand up, and do what must be done.

I commit myself to stopping myself from accepting and allowing myself to move myself into the past and future with and as my fears as I see, realize, and understand that this is myself as my mind directing me from here and breathing.  When and as I see myself moving forward and backward in Time to flee from an experience of myself, I stop, I breath and I bring myself back to here and investigate the negative experience of myself within my memories that I'm running from and/or suppressing and I apply self-forgiveness as this will assist and support me to actually change.

I commit myself to stop 'humoring myself' as a reaction to my fears where I will tell myself that I am 'funny' or 'quirky' to 'save face' for myself instead of standing up and facing my fears.

Many more self-commitments to follow.