Day 91: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 4
While looking at my backchat, I realized that the person who has
made past threats to have others committed is someone that I always
wanted to have on my side. When I listen to the stories that this person
tells me about the people that they’ve won against, how they have used
the system, and some of the levels that they have had to go to get their
desired result, I think to myself, “Thank god this person is on MY SIDE
– I do not want to get on their bad side.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear another based on the stories that I have heard of them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what I hear of and from the mouths of others rather than investigating what I am hearing before making a directed decision to agree with or not agree with what’s being presented.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am safe if I have a dangerous, abusive, and immoral person on ‘my side’ because I tell myself that that person will stop at nothing, experience no guilt, and experience no consequence within protecting my self interest. Additionally, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a person that does not value the lives of others to stand in my place and represent me because I did not see myself as capable of standing up and being responsible for myself and my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where dangerous, abusive, and immoral beings are given power because I have accepted and allowed a world in which I live in fear of. I live in fear of what could happen here and I fear what I have and could become as a person that needs to survive here. Because I fear the consequences of becoming dangerous, abusive, and immoral being, I allowed another to do the ‘dirty work’ for me.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be honest with myself that I do not want to commit to anything or anyone here because I do not trust that what I devote myself to will not come back and ‘bite me’. Because I have been in-fear of what others and anything outside of myself can ‘do to me’ and distracted by this, I have not seen, realized, nor understood that I must bring this point of trust back to myself – I must trust myself to do and live what is best – and within this, I am thus able to live my self-commitments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, see, and imagine that any of my self-commitments have anything to do with anyone else but myself – it is all me as what I can do to become a being that is actually living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for allowing another – who I was aware did not value the lives of others – to stand in my place, stand-up for me, defend me, and take responsibility for almost all aspects of my living. When I consider what I have accepted and allowed, I experience guilt, remorse, and slow, deep painful fear reaction in my solar plexus. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the memories, guilt, and remorse for what I have done and the consequential outflows of my decisions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear another based on the stories that I have heard of them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what I hear of and from the mouths of others rather than investigating what I am hearing before making a directed decision to agree with or not agree with what’s being presented.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am safe if I have a dangerous, abusive, and immoral person on ‘my side’ because I tell myself that that person will stop at nothing, experience no guilt, and experience no consequence within protecting my self interest. Additionally, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a person that does not value the lives of others to stand in my place and represent me because I did not see myself as capable of standing up and being responsible for myself and my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where dangerous, abusive, and immoral beings are given power because I have accepted and allowed a world in which I live in fear of. I live in fear of what could happen here and I fear what I have and could become as a person that needs to survive here. Because I fear the consequences of becoming dangerous, abusive, and immoral being, I allowed another to do the ‘dirty work’ for me.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be honest with myself that I do not want to commit to anything or anyone here because I do not trust that what I devote myself to will not come back and ‘bite me’. Because I have been in-fear of what others and anything outside of myself can ‘do to me’ and distracted by this, I have not seen, realized, nor understood that I must bring this point of trust back to myself – I must trust myself to do and live what is best – and within this, I am thus able to live my self-commitments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, see, and imagine that any of my self-commitments have anything to do with anyone else but myself – it is all me as what I can do to become a being that is actually living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for allowing another – who I was aware did not value the lives of others – to stand in my place, stand-up for me, defend me, and take responsibility for almost all aspects of my living. When I consider what I have accepted and allowed, I experience guilt, remorse, and slow, deep painful fear reaction in my solar plexus. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the memories, guilt, and remorse for what I have done and the consequential outflows of my decisions.
