Here I am continuing with Self-Correction and Self-Commitments started on Day 97: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 10.
When and as I see that I am attempting to ignore, avoid, get out of, and/or distract myself from living up to my commitments, responsibilities and tasks that I have agreed to as indicated by myself telling myself: "I do not have to apply myself all of the time.", "I have walked this point and lived it enough already.", "This doesn't apply to me anymore so I can do what I want now.", "I have transcended this point.", and/or "This is just too risky for me to give up - I need this about me to make it in this world." - I stop. I see, realize, and understand that this is me giving myself reasons and excuses not change and instead of allowing myself to agree to the voice because it is what I want to hear, I remind myself of my commitment, I remind myself why I made this commitment, I remind myself of the consequences if I do not live up to my commitment and I live my words and do what I said I was going to do.
I commit myself to not allow myself to be directed by my inner-voice that I use to sneak away from my commitments, responsibility, and tasks by directing myself to stick to the decision I have made to stand for/as/of/within what I said I was going to do.
When and as I hear myself saying within and without that, "I have never committed to anything in my entire life.", I do not allow myself to agree with this statement and thus do not allow myself within not agreeing with this statement to recall memories and experiences of myself to confirm that this statement is true/real. I see, realize, and understand that my memories and my experiences of myself are tools that I am required to work with so when they come up unexpectedly, I investigate them but do not allow myself to be directed by them - instead, I move myself to direct myself through and as my memories so that I may understand myself, why I am the way that I am, and release myself from the reactions associated with the memories and experiences.
I commit myself to stopping myself from being a person that has 'never committed to anything in life' by first, seeing, realizing, and understanding that I accepted and allowed this definition of myself - I created it - second, not accepting and allowing it as a definition of myself by stopping the excuse in it's tracks and re-tracing to the original memories, experiences, and thoughts that I had where I did not want to face myself.
I will continue with self-correction and self-commitments.