Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Day 96: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 9

What are the consequences of allowing oneself to exist as a child within one's mind where one says, "I'm just a Kid At Heart.  I will never grow up ... " ??  Read here and find out.

For additional dimensions within the exploration of this topic, refer to:

Day 95: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 8
Day 94: Journey To Life Review - Day 1 - Part 7
Day 93: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 6
and Day 92: Journey To Life Review – Day 1 – Part 5



The Problem: The consequences of my acting out my Just A Kid character are that I never gave myself the opportunity to stand - when things get tough I experience turmoil, I rely on others to take care of me, I need someone outside of myself to confirm my experiences as 'special', I look to others for praise and I battle inside of me with these things because I judge myself as a result of me separating myself from this and defining myself as a strong, secure, and stable person.

When the truth is, I have been arguing for my limitations all along.  As this, I can find an excuse for myself in every moment for me not standing, not living my self-commitments, not sticking to my decisions, not taking control of my living, and not changing.

The Solution: See, realize and understand that when I do not live a practical self-commitment that I am being dishonest with myself as I formulate excuses - and within this seeing, realizing, and understanding, I direct myself within these moments when I am arguing for my limitations to instead self-forgive myself for accepting and allowing these excuses to exist within and as me and then re-direct myself to complete what I have set out to do and/or what must be done.

The Reward: I will see change in myself and my living as I will no longer be participating in a fight within myself and thus actually getting done for myself what I set out to do.  As I see that I can be trusted with what is important to me, I will establish self-trust.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the consequences of me acting out my Just A Kid character - I have created a life that is filled with chaos, mental and emotional turmoil, instability, and break-downs because I have continually, over-and-over again argued for my limitations as I tell myself that I Am Just A Kid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself NOT to see that me not standing is me not 'doing what I said I would do' within and as my re-definition of Commitment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to require another outside of myself to confirm, feed, and comfort my limitations so that I can make them real and thus continue within the pattern and not change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself negatively within Guilt for not living up to my self-commitments - instead of standing as myself within the commitments that I have made for myself and making self-directed decisions in breath, I compare myself to others, judge myself, and from here, become guilty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself positively within my Escapism and separation when and as I am within this guilt.  Instead of facing the guilt, I flee from it and within this, perpetuate consequences.

Next up: Self-Commitment Statements for my Journey To Life Review - Day 1 processes.



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