Saturday, June 23, 2012

Day 25: Myself As Diminished - 4/4

Here I am sharing Self-Correction and Self-Commitments from the realizations and solutions that I have seen during my process of Self-Forgiveness while walking the point of Myself As A Diminished Version of Those Who Have Gone Before Me - Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Art by Matti Freeman

When and as I see myself placing people, animals, plants, objects, housework, etc., on a Value Queue of/as what requires my interest and/or is more deserving of attention, I stop.  I bring myself back to here from my where I am allowing my thoughts to direct me.  I commit myself to no longer placing my needs, wants, desires, fantasies, thoughts, and/or interests above all else that is here.

Within this commitment to myself, I see that it is required for me to remove judgements, worries, and fears from all that is here that I have separated myself from.  For example:  I feel guilty when I do not water/feed my plant because I am dehydrating/starving them and may be damaging their root systems - if I continue to do this, I will kill the plant and have to throw it away.  This pattern is the PRODUCT of myself being caught up in my thoughts and placing myself and others before the life of my plant.  It is beneficial to ONLY my mind because IF I can distract myself to the point of where I can kill life, I can then power my mind with guilt, remorse, and all other negative emotions, thoughts, and abuses of myself that I bring up in my mind.

Realizing this:

I commit myself to clearing myself of judgements, worries, and fears that I have attached to each and every thing here in separation - one-by-one, point-by-point - with writing, Self-Forgiveness, and walking my Self-Correction and Self-Commitment.

When and as I see myself as/becoming/going into distraction within myself as thoughts and/or what I can/could be doing that is/has captured my interests at a moment, I stop.  I breath and bring myself back to here within my actual, real physical world.  I commit myself to STOP ACTING/REACTING ON IMPULSE where an 'I-M-Pulse' is my physical indication to myself that I AM PULSATING as an energy high in response to a thought/possible experience that I like/desire/want/crave.  Within this commitment to myself, I direct myself to breath through the energy high and instead of acting on my desires/interests and allowing myself to be/become/live-out my distraction - I ground myself where I utilize that time that has been used for distraction to write, self-forgive, self-correct, self-commit, and/or be present with my family, my son's homeschooling, my work as my system of survival, my household responsibilities, and/or my participation with the Desteni group where I can read Journey To Life blogs, write Journey To Life blogs, vlog as per specific direction, work on my Desteni I Process and/or Agreement Course assignments.  I commit myself to remind myself that I HAVE PLENTY TO DO and thus, I do not require to add any other self-interests to my daily living.

I commit myself to taking care of myself by stopping my self-absorption of myself in/into/as/for my Mind as/within my thoughts and my Ego so that I can actually, for real, care for all others

I see that while I have been caught up in myself, my thoughts, and my distractions, that I have been ignoring the pain in my body - specifically my teeth, where I will only have my teeth repaired for cosmetic/appearance reasons and not for the actual holes that can't be seen by others on a day-to-day basis that are extremely painful.

Within this awareness, I commit myself to having my teeth repaired.  To further work on trust with my physical body, I commit myself to removing myself from my current physical care that has proven to not be caring of myself and my family and to find an actual medical doctor that can assist me with the care of myself and my family as what's best for our physical bodies and not what's best for a companies wallet.

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