Here are self-correction and self-commitments for self-realizations from
Day 138: Let's Be Honest: I Like the High
Day 138: Let's Be Honest: I Like the High
Day 138: Let's Be Honest: I Like the High
When and as I see that my application is not effective because I am not facing and/or dismissing the points that come up within communication with myself and others as indicated by myself justifying who I am and what I do, I see, realize and understand that I am cheating myself out of an opportunity to see myself as I am and thus not allowing myself the opportunity to change. I see, realize and understand that I must change – there is NO WAY OUT for me and there is NO GOING BACK – I have made the decision and the commitment to stand and within that, the only choice I have is to change and do what is best for/as all Life, including my own.
I commit myself to stop NOT facing myself, to stop dismissing points that come up within communication with myself and others, and to stop justifying myself for who I am and what I do by breathing, not taking communication with myself and others as personal, hearing, and then assisting and supporting myself to change with writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction.
I commit myself to stop myself from looking for ‘another way’ or a ‘better way’ to walk my process and instead push as the group is pushing, and stand as the group is standing.
When and as I see myself not wanting to give up anything, I see, realize, and understand that I am communicating to myself about a self-interest that I am deliberately ignoring and/or putting off – this gets me no-where as I am cheating and deceiving myself and others. Additionally, I see, realize, and understand that I have been willing to abuse my body for a Reward of a Better Mood and Increased Stamina and thus, I have been abusing Life/Substance for a momentary High which is irresponsible, not cool and just plain ignorant.
I commit myself to giving up my self-interests by assisting and supporting myself to writing out, self-forgiving, and self-correcting myself for what I am deliberately ignoring and/or putting off what I do not want to give up.
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When and as I see that I am in a polarity cycle of negativity, positivity and neutrality as indicated by my ups, my downs, and then my balancing out with excuses and justifications, I commit myself to stop my participation in the polarity cycle and to assist and support myself by taking responsibility for myself with writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction to release myself from these cycles/patterns.
When and as I see that I am abdicating myself as indicated by my backchat where I tell myself ‘I can’t …’ or see others outside of myself as ‘unable’, I stop. I see, realize and understand that no one is going to walk my process for me and that no one is going to make me walk my process. Additionally, I see, realize and understand that I am communicating to myself about my abdication of myself within the words of ‘Can’t …’ and ‘unable’.
I commit myself to stop deceiving and lying to myself about what I can’t or what I’m not able to do by investigating myself and looking honestly at what I have done, how far I come, where I want to be, what is required for me to get where I want to be and what is actually, for real, physically practical for me to accomplish and how I will accomplish my purpose/objective/goal.
I commit myself to developing/establishing a relationship of self-trust and self-understanding with myself by writing out my purposes/goals/objectives, what I can practically do to accomplish/complete my purposes, goals, and objectives, and then self-commit myself to move on/with my plan.
When and as I see that I am suppressing my anger as indicated by me physically grinding my teeth while telling myself that I’m not angry, that I am not sad, that I am above emotions, that I am clear, that I am stable, that I am focused, or any other positive affirmation, I stop. I see, realize and understand that my suppressing emotions only prolong my process. Additionally, I see, realize and understand that this suppression is having a detrimental effect on my body – I NEED MY TEETH and thus it is neither within my best interest nor my future survival for me to grind them down.
I commit myself to stop myself from suppressing my emotions by being aware of myself physically grinding my teeth and within this awareness, stopping, breathing, slowing myself down and walking myself backward through my thoughts and reactions – and from here, I commit myself to write out what’s ‘grinding my gears’ that I do not want to see/see myself as equal-to, self-forgiving myself for these suppressed thoughts and reactions, and then self-correcting myself as I now see, realize, and understand that I am giving myself a direct link to realizing myself and thus, I commit myself to exploring/realizing myself via this obvious mind to physical body suppression.
When and as I hear/see myself telling/showing myself that I am going to become fat because I am giving up something outside of myself, I see, realize, and understand that this is myself using one of my greatest fears against me as a way to keep myself from changing – I am using my fear of being fat/being physically big, round, bulbous/becoming disconnected with myself to keep me locked into a pattern of compromising and abusing my body as I go from one polarity – being big bodied to the opposite polarity – being small bodied.
I commit myself to writing out my fears of being fat as well as my experiences within not being fat and from here, forgiving myself for the memories, experiences, and current living within each polarity so that I can self-correct myself to no longer have this fear have power and/or influence over my decisions.
I am intrigued by your post and your expression of using fear to manipulate yourself. I have met some people who have overcome other addictions with positive addictions to compensate... and I know your like wtf is a positive addiction. One example would be long distance running, this can replace any bodily images you use to reinforce your negative behaviors. running long distance can give you that high you need. it also allows time for you to think alone and reflect without any person around you. the people that have taken up this addiction then become addicted to a healthier lifestyle the grasp for more things to help them run longer. for the drug addictions and energy addictions there are other alternative products that are not drugs they are all natural but effect your body in a positive way and still give you a overall energy boost. if you want any more information on running or alternative products contact me at steashl.vemma@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteHi Ashley - thanks for your response. When I made the decision to stop taking Adderall, I saw this as an opportunity to research, understand, and get to the core of why I was actually dependent on taking and/or doing something with which I told myself that I needed. What I found is that this dependence is something that I made up in my mind - and for the fear point, I used this to make whatever I was telling myself true and an excuse not to change.
DeleteYes, it would have been easier to replace one addiction with another - this would have not solved anything, though and I would not have actually changed who I am and how I direct myself when I am faced with a fear and the conflict within myself.
In the following blogs, I will be sharing how I was able to stop myself from obsessing about Adderall and let it go with group support, an education about addiction from my course work within Desteni I Process, and self-support with writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction.