Day 169: I Hope Things Get Better - Part 2

Here continuing with Self-Correction and Self-Commitment from Day 168: I Hope Things Get Better - Part 1.

When and as I see that I am going into Hope as indicated by me deliberately attempting to ignore, put-off, and wait-for the events and situations in my reality to ‘work themselves out’ in a positive way, I stop, breath, and do NOT go into a distraction. I realize that I must stand up, take responsibility for myself and my reality and move myself to make decisions for change, plan how to implement these decisions, and then physically do the work required to change the situation.

I commit myself to stop going into Hope and within this stop attempting to ignore, put-off, and wait-for the events and situations in my reality to ‘work themselves out’ by instead standing up, taking responsibility for myself and my reality and moving myself to make decisions for change, planning how to implement my decisions for change and then physically doing the work required that will actually change my situation.

When and as I see that I am not being the direct guiding principle of myself as indicated by me becoming overwhelmed with problems instead of going into solutions, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is how I begin the process of my self-sabotage and that if I go into this overwhelmed experience that I will then trigger my pattern of procrastination and justify my not standing with the statement, “there’s nothing I can do to change this at the moment,” where I wait and do nothing.

I commit myself to be the direct guiding principle of myself by not allowing myself to become overwhelmed when I see problems and stopping myself from saying, “there’s nothing I can do at the moment,” and stopping myself from procrastinating. Within this, I commit myself to go into the solutions creation process when and as I see problems.

When and as I see that I am deliberately attempting to ignore what I see are problems and/or overwhelming events as indicated by me distracting myself with other tasks, ‘forgetting’ about a problem, and/or telling myself that, “things will work out on their own if I leave them alone,” I stop and breathe. I realize that problems don’t work themselves out and that problems are actually potential solutions that require physical movement/force to be worked out. I realize that I have limited myself by allowing myself to believe that I am not capable of physically moving a problem to a solution and within this, taking the easy way out instead of facing my personal beliefs of insecurity and fear.

I commit myself to STOP my deliberate attempts at ignoring a problem and then trying to pass the problems off to others when I am unable to forget the problem and/or the problem doesn’t ‘work out on its own’ and continues to emerge by when and as I see problems, remind myself that problems are potential solutions that require physical movement and from here, push myself to be that force that moves the problem to a solution. Here, I show myself that I am able to realize solutions and within this, assist and support myself to see that how I have allowed my beliefs, insecurities, and fears have limited me.

When and as I see that I am not moving myself to assist and support myself to make changes, improvements, and/or preventative actions with the reason, justification, excuse, and/or belief that I have had miraculous experiences in the past where my life ‘suddenly gets better’ and so it’s ‘okay’ to Hope that it will happen again, I stop and breath. I realize that within Hope, I am looking and waiting for a positive energetic experience – I am addicted to and possessed with/by this tiny sliver of ‘goodness’. Not once have a stopped to question why I apparently need this positive energetic experience nor have a looked beyond placing my trust in Hope and investigated ways of making changes, improvements, and/or preventative actions so that I am no longer looking-for and waiting-for a positive sudden energetic fix.

I commit myself to stop looking for and waiting for something positive to happen – I commit myself to stop going into Hope by when and as points come up that require to be fixed, improved, and/or change, I physically move myself to fix, improve, and/or change these points.

Day 168: I Hope Things Get Better - Part 1

I often go into Hope when I experience being overwhelmed with the negative events in my life where I Hope that ‘things will get better’. When I am Hoping, I am not the directive principle and instead I’m waiting for something positive to happen – I deliberately attempt to ignore the overwhelming negative events, tell myself that ‘there’s nothing I can do to change it at this moment’, distract myself with other tasks, and forget about the problem for a little while before the thoughts, fears, and emotions that I have attached to the negative events reemerge. On occasions something ‘happens’ to improve my situation where my life looks quite miraculous because I haven’t actually moved myself to assist with this improvement - It’s these miraculous and positive experiences with events in my life ‘suddenly getting better’ that I have used to keep myself locked into Hope, to not take responsibility for my living, and to not do the make decisions, do the work, and make the changes required for my situation to improve. I realize that I can no longer Hope that my situation and the events in my reality will change for the better and that what is actually required is for me to make decisions and move myself within these decisions for anything with in my reality, including myself, to in-fact change.

SELF-FORGIVENESS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into Hope when and as I experience being overwhelmed with what I see as negative events in my reality. Instead of standing up, taking responsibility for myself and my reality, and moving myself to make decisions and changes, I attempt to ignore the situations and distract myself with other tasks and entertainment while I hope and wait for the situations in my reality to ‘work themselves out’ positively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be the direct guiding principle of myself where instead of going into solutions, I overwhelm myself with problems until I separate and abdicate myself from the problems by saying, “there’s nothing I can do to change this at the moment,” and then give myself over to Hope where I wait for a positive change to happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately attempt to ignore problems and/or overwhelming events, distract myself with other tasks, and ‘forget’ about the problem until the thoughts, fears, and emotions that I have attached to the negative events reemerge. I have convinced myself that ‘things will work out on their own if I leave them alone’, in-spite of the fact that I see that things just don’t ‘work out on their own’ and that problems require for someone or something to actually physically move and/or be a force for problems to work out. I do not allow myself to be that movement and force and I instead allow others to do this for me because I believe myself to be limited with what I can do and that things will work out better if someone/something more capable than me handles the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself to assist and support myself to make changes, improvements, and/or preventative actions within my reality because, on occasion, I experience my life ‘suddenly getting better’ with no action, change, nor movement on my part – and I like this and experience a positive energetic feeling of a miracle, a blessing, Good Karma, and/or that someone/something ‘out there’ separate from me with Universe Powers must Love me. I hold onto these moments and Hope that they will continue to play-out so that I do not have to apply myself, take responsibility for my living, make decisions, nor make the changes required for my living situation to improve. Here, I have locked myself into Hope and become possessed with/by Hope and within this, I have limited myself from realizing my potential – all because I fear losing this glimmer of a potential positive experience.

Day 167: Be Brutally Honest With Me - Part 2

Here continuing with Self-Correction and Self-Commitment from Day 166: Be Brutally Honest With Me - Part 1.

SELF-CORRECTION AND SELF-COMMITMENT STATEMENTS

When and as I see that I am about to enter into an agreement to be brutally honest with another, I stop and breathe. I realize that honesty does not equal stability nor does it assist and support others with awareness, understanding, and working on solutions – especially when approaching the ‘honest information’ from a point of reaction. So, how I share honesty with others when working through a problem is no different from how I would approach honesty with myself when working on a problem where I clear myself of reactions so that I can look at the problem realistically and construct practical, trustworthy solutions.

I commit myself to stopping automatically responding to others requests for brutal honesty by breathing, slowing myself down, and allowing myself to take a moment to look at the known and/or potential outcomes to see if it’s best for myself and others for me to respond or if it’s best for me assist and direct the situation to understanding, awareness, clarity, and stability.

When and as I see that I am quickly going into an assumption about how an event is going to play out positively if/when/as I am honest, I stop and breathe. I realize that I have not allowed myself to slow down and look at events/scenarios/situations – I go right into my mind and speed ahead to the part where everything almost always works out for the best. 

I commit myself to put a guard on my mouth, to stop going over the information within/as situations, scenarios, and events quickly and to take the time to sort through what’s going on with breathing, slowing myself down, looking at events/situations/scenarios practically, asking questions, and sharing perspectives on what’s going on as well as potential solutions that I see.

When and as I see that I am experiencing shock because something happening in the external world is not working and/or not in alignment with my beliefs that I have stored within and as me as information, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am showing myself that my belief is not real. Instead of going into my mind to distract myself with figuring out what went wrong, I direct myself to the physical act of writing out the beliefs, the consequences of my beliefs, self-forgiveness for my beliefs, and self-correction so that I do not continue with the pattern. 

I commit myself to stopping myself from going into a shocked experience by STOPPING, breathing, stopping myself from going into my mind to figure out what happened, and directing myself to the physical act of writing it out, applying self-forgiveness, and self-correcting myself. I commit myself to embrace these moments of my beliefs getting blown apart, face myself, and then realign myself with what is best.

When and as I see that I am attempting to go into my positive beliefs about Honesty as indicated by me looking to get a positive energetic experience of Hope, I stop and breathe. I realize that my beliefs about honesty are lies – they are bullshit stories and phrases that I have told myself in an attempt to get out of facing the physical consequences of things I’ve done and/or participated in that I’m having a negative emotional reaction to. I realize that I’ve automated this at this point – that I will have the negative experience and then immediately seek out the positive – and it’s easier – it’s quicker and easier to forget than actually taking the time to balance self-honesty with self-responsibility and being an active participant in my self-change.

I commit myself to stop going into my positive beliefs about Honesty and within this stop going for the positive energetic Hope experience as a way to feel better about my negative emotional reaction to something I have done and/or participated in. Instead of going into the belief, I breathe, slow myself down and back myself to my negative emotional experience and investigate why I went into it in the first place – I ask myself questions: Why am I trying to forget about this? Why am I trying to take the easy way out of this? What can I do to actually change this so that I can live in a self-honest, responsible way and not keep creating this sort of consequence for myself? Here, also, I commit myself to writing these points out on paper/screen so I have them in front of me and can work with them in physical reality rather than in my mind where things get foggy or are easily forgotten with distraction.

When and as I see that I am about to automatically go into my mind-purge ‘honesty’ that I have justified and excused with my belief system about honesty, I stop and breathe. I do not go there. I realize that no good will come of this and that the clean-up will be extensive and that some of the damage may be irreparable. This is not something that I want for myself and others.

I commit myself to STOP automatically going into a mind-purge when and as I am asked for honesty. I put a guard over mouth, I breathe, and make certain that I am clear before I speak. When and as I am clear, I direct the question/request of Honesty to a solution focused discussion where I ask questions, investigate what’s going on, share perspectives and suggest solutions.

Here continuing with Self-Correction and Self-Commitment from writing and Self-Forgiveness on - See more at: http://self-commitment-of-carrie.blogspot.com/#sthash.pkfLxejh.dpufH