Part Four of Self-Correction and Self-Commitment Statements for Self-Forgiveness on Day 145: Hearing What I Want to Hear. Part Three is here, Part Two is here and Part One is here.
When and as I see that I have stopped hearing when and as I am in a situation, event, or change that I experience as uncomfortable, not understanding, nor having confidence in my ability to take responsibility for, I stop and I breath myself back to hear. I see, realize, and understand that when I stop hearing, I have gone into my thoughts, reactions, fears, Ego and imagination rather than taking the opportunity to take a self-inventory of myself during this moment where a self-dishonesty emerged. Instead of escaping into my mind where I cannot hear, I allow myself to breath and investigate myself. In relation to this point of practically supporting myself to live my commitments and responsibilities self-honestly, I direct myself to write out what it is that is that I would like to do, the possible ways that it can be done, and the pros and cons as this will assist and support me in making a decision that is practical, considerate of the consequences, and best for all.
I commit myself to improve my hearing by assisting and supporting myself to work out problems in a practical, common sense way rather than immediately reacting with fear, escaping into my thoughts and imaginations, and making decisions for and as my Ego. In relation to situations, events, or changes, I commit myself to utilize the writing process for integrating commitments and responsibilities that are important to me and/or assist and support myself with being self-honest and cool with myself.
When and as I see that I am allowing myself to change, interact, have an experience, or learn from the world because of my immediate reactions of fear, I stop, breath, and slow down my processing. I see, realize, and understand that these specific social fears that I have are created by memories of not being liked, being left out, or not being a part of the group. As with my other childhood memories, this is the past that I am accepting and allowing myself to live in and not here. Additionally, I see, realize and understand that having these fears aren't necessary for me to participate with a group and that in-fact, group participation is MUCH more easier and enjoyable when and as I let my fears and memories go. I continue to remind myself that my memories are not Who I Am and I assist and support myself to self-forgive myself for accepting and allowing these memories to change anything about Who I Am, how I relate to others, my stability, my common sense, and my perspectives.
I commit myself to stop allowing fear-based memories to define and/or change Who I Am, how I interact, what I experience, and what I learn from others, the environment that I am in, and the world by reminding myself that my memories are the past and it is not necessary that I live in the past nor use them to define my future - Who I Am is here, in this moment of breath. As an additional level of self assistance and support, I utilize the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction for the points of fear-based memories that I am not effectively directing so that I can research the parts of myself that require removal, re-alignment, re-definition, and/or re-direction.