In this blog I am writing Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction for the Fear Dimension of The Helpless Victim Character that emerged from realizations while walking a traumatic event. The initial writing out of the dimensions of this character can be read here: Day 129: The Helpless Victim.
The process from which The Helpless Victim Character emerged can be referenced within these posts:
Day 124: The Day I Fell
Day 125: The Day I Fell - Self-Forgiveness
Day 126: The Day I Fell - Self-Realizations
Day 127: The Day I Fell - Self-Correction
Day 128: The Day I Fell - Self-Commitment
Writing from Day 129:
Fear Dimension
Ultimately, I fear being alone in this world. I do not think that I can do this on my own and I do not think that I have the power to stand up for myself. I fear standing up and saying, "From here, no more." What will become of me if I do this? What if I stand up and say, "No more" and that person writes me out of their life? Worse, what if they hurt me, degrade me, defame me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me or the people/things that I have defined myself within and as? What if I end up losing everything?
Fear Dimension - Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear being alone in the world and because of this I fear what will happen to me if I say, "From here no more." I fear that I will fail on my own and that I will screw up because there are still many decisions that I must stand for and stand as that I do not trust that I can be responsible with. I fear that I will lose everything: my home, those I care about, my safety, my comfort-zone, and my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'being alone in the world' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'what will happen to me if I say, "From here no more."' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'I will fail on my own and that I will screw up because there are still many decisions that I must stand for and stand as that I do not trust that I can be responsible with' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'losing everything: my home, those I care about, my safety, my comfort-zone, and my life' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will hurt me, degrade me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'others will hurt me, degrade me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind where my fear of loss, being alone, and failure exists - I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I am here, breathing, and not participating in my mind that no fear exists - there is no fear of loss, no fear of being alone, and no fear of failure until I have a thought and imagine myself within the thought as possible event - I am aware that this is not real but time-and-time again I continue to place myself in situations within and as my imagination that always lead to something bad happening if/when/as I consider changing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that when I engage a thought that I am accepting and allowing that thought to have power over me, direct me, and guide me until I find where I am scared and make myself believe that my thoughts and my fear are true and/or real. I create my fear of loss, being alone, and failure simply to fear it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my memories to assist me in my fear creation where I will go back to a time where I have experienced or been told that I will experience loss, being alone, and failure if/when/as I direct myself to go 'outside of the box' and/or go against my programming. Instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that the past has no control over me and that I can change my behavior however or to whatever I see is best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have scared myself into not making the best decisions for myself and my world. I have used my fear of loss, failure, and being alone as excuses and reasons why I have done nothing to change my living and the world I live in in-spite of the evidence that I am required to act.
Fear Dimension - Self-Commitments
I commit myself to stop my fear of being alone, my fear of loss, and my fear of failure by re-Minding myself to breath when and as I see that I am engaging myself in a thought and/or imagination in my mind. I commit myself to assist and support myself with the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction for the self-created points of fear that emerge when and as I stop, breath, and self-honestly investigate myself.
Within this same application of breathing and using the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction, I commit myself to stop fearing what would/could/will happen to me when and as I am required to make a decision that is best for me and will change my living. As I write this, I see, realize, and understand that this fear of what would/could/will happen to me is further connected to my fear of change - so, I commit myself to stop making excuses and reasons for myself not to make changes and to instead, make the changes that I have shown myself that I am required to make because it is practical, responsible, in alignment with me being honest with myself and best for me to do so.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing my memories to assist me in not changing/making changes by re-Minding myself that this does not benefit me nor anyone else in any way - it only feeds my fear to keep myself within my program, within control, and within my prison.
To further assist and support myself with no longer accepting and allowing myself to play-out The Helpless Victim character, I commit myself to write out, self-forgive and self-correct a specific memory that's emerging that I did not see as being a traumatic event.
The process from which The Helpless Victim Character emerged can be referenced within these posts:
Day 124: The Day I Fell
Day 125: The Day I Fell - Self-Forgiveness
Day 126: The Day I Fell - Self-Realizations
Day 127: The Day I Fell - Self-Correction
Day 128: The Day I Fell - Self-Commitment
Writing from Day 129:
Fear Dimension
Ultimately, I fear being alone in this world. I do not think that I can do this on my own and I do not think that I have the power to stand up for myself. I fear standing up and saying, "From here, no more." What will become of me if I do this? What if I stand up and say, "No more" and that person writes me out of their life? Worse, what if they hurt me, degrade me, defame me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me or the people/things that I have defined myself within and as? What if I end up losing everything?
Fear Dimension - Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear being alone in the world and because of this I fear what will happen to me if I say, "From here no more." I fear that I will fail on my own and that I will screw up because there are still many decisions that I must stand for and stand as that I do not trust that I can be responsible with. I fear that I will lose everything: my home, those I care about, my safety, my comfort-zone, and my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'being alone in the world' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'what will happen to me if I say, "From here no more."' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'I will fail on my own and that I will screw up because there are still many decisions that I must stand for and stand as that I do not trust that I can be responsible with' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'losing everything: my home, those I care about, my safety, my comfort-zone, and my life' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will hurt me, degrade me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'others will hurt me, degrade me, and succeed in taking away what's important to me' to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind where my fear of loss, being alone, and failure exists - I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I am here, breathing, and not participating in my mind that no fear exists - there is no fear of loss, no fear of being alone, and no fear of failure until I have a thought and imagine myself within the thought as possible event - I am aware that this is not real but time-and-time again I continue to place myself in situations within and as my imagination that always lead to something bad happening if/when/as I consider changing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that when I engage a thought that I am accepting and allowing that thought to have power over me, direct me, and guide me until I find where I am scared and make myself believe that my thoughts and my fear are true and/or real. I create my fear of loss, being alone, and failure simply to fear it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my memories to assist me in my fear creation where I will go back to a time where I have experienced or been told that I will experience loss, being alone, and failure if/when/as I direct myself to go 'outside of the box' and/or go against my programming. Instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that the past has no control over me and that I can change my behavior however or to whatever I see is best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have scared myself into not making the best decisions for myself and my world. I have used my fear of loss, failure, and being alone as excuses and reasons why I have done nothing to change my living and the world I live in in-spite of the evidence that I am required to act.
Fear Dimension - Self-Commitments
I commit myself to stop my fear of being alone, my fear of loss, and my fear of failure by re-Minding myself to breath when and as I see that I am engaging myself in a thought and/or imagination in my mind. I commit myself to assist and support myself with the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction for the self-created points of fear that emerge when and as I stop, breath, and self-honestly investigate myself.
Within this same application of breathing and using the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction, I commit myself to stop fearing what would/could/will happen to me when and as I am required to make a decision that is best for me and will change my living. As I write this, I see, realize, and understand that this fear of what would/could/will happen to me is further connected to my fear of change - so, I commit myself to stop making excuses and reasons for myself not to make changes and to instead, make the changes that I have shown myself that I am required to make because it is practical, responsible, in alignment with me being honest with myself and best for me to do so.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing my memories to assist me in not changing/making changes by re-Minding myself that this does not benefit me nor anyone else in any way - it only feeds my fear to keep myself within my program, within control, and within my prison.
To further assist and support myself with no longer accepting and allowing myself to play-out The Helpless Victim character, I commit myself to write out, self-forgive and self-correct a specific memory that's emerging that I did not see as being a traumatic event.
No comments:
Post a Comment