Here I am writing Self-Correction and Self-Commitments for Day 78: An Angel Watches Over Me
For additional context see:
Dec 27, 2012 - On Guardian Angels and Dec 30, 2012 - Are Guardian Angels Real?
When and as I see that I am experiencing a fear of loss as indicated by me, participating in my thoughts and in my mind, searching for answers, signs and/or salvation from a being that I have made a relationship with as Greater, More Influencial, and More Powerful than myself, I stop. I see, realize and understand that my fear of loss has never preventing anything from 'going wrong' in my life - additionally, I see, realize, and understand that I am giving my 'power' to control myself and make decisions that are best over to someone/something outside of myself that may or may not exist instead of directing, moving, changing, and taking care of myself, the beings in my world, and the points that important to me.
I commit myself to being/becoming my own Guardian where I take responsibility for my mistakes, make corrections for my mistakes, and prevent future mistakes - this is a self-directed act where I no longer look outside of myself for someone else to 'fix it' for me.
When and as I see that I have disconnected myself from my physical reality as indicated by myself thinking about and/or telling myself about my Specialness, my Special Purpose, my Meaning, my Influential Status, and the all the Good Karma/Points that I am adding up that will ensure I have an easy After-Life, I stop. I see, realize, and understand that by the act of living my life in preparation for my death that I am in-fact living to die - and because I am living to die, I have not once participated in this physical world as instead, I have been planning my escape because I Am Special and I Do Not Belong Here amongst this evilness.
I commit myself to being here - to no longer distract myself with my plan of escape. I will amalgamate myself with this physical world by releasing myself from all of my mind creations because I see, realize, and understand that living in my mind and living out the pre-programming of my mind is not a life worth living. I will assist and support myself to release myself from all of my mind creations with self-forgiveness.
When and as I see myself imagining that there is an entity outside of myself looking over me, I stop. I see, realize, and understand that I am communicating to myself that I must look-over myself - I must watch myself, keep myself safe, and stabilize my system of survival. Additionally, I see that I am telling myself that 'no one can see me' which is a point that I see that I am required to investigate.
I commit myself to watch/observe myself, keep myself safe, and to stabilize my system of survival.
Additionally, I commit myself to investigate why it is that I'm telling myself that 'no-one can see me' - I will assist and support myself within this commitment with the tools of writing and self-forgiveness.
I commit myself to stop saying mean and nasty things about others within my mind-backchat by being self-honest about what I'm telling myself and releasing the mind-backchat with immediate self-forgiveness.
When and as I am in the process of telling/showing myself that I Am A Good Person, I stop. I see, realize, and understand that I am telling myself this about myself because in a previous moment I have told/shown myself that I Am A Bad Person and so I must turn the negative into a positive so that I can turn my negative depressive experience into a high experience. This is not life - this is a mind-induced bi-polar rollercoaster. Additionally, I see, realize and understand that if I am experiencing a 'High' that it's 'too late' - what's done is done and instead, I must stop myself at the Negative thoughts and release myself with self-forgiveness so that I do not compensate with the opposite polarity.
I commit myself to the prevention of myself from going into a Positive Energy High by slowing myself with breath and observing myself for my Negative thoughts - and instead of accepting and allowing myself to react, I will direct myself to release myself from my starting Negative points with writing and walking self-forgiveness.
When and as I see that I am attempting to go into a Personality Suit that deliberately attempts to show others that I Am Special-Confident-Blessed, I STOP. I see, realize, and understand that using this expression is NOT was is best for anyone as it perpetuates Hope, Faith, Peacefulness, and separation from my fellow Earthlings.
I commit myself to stop expressing myself physically as Special, Confident, and Blessed within separation by stopping myself immediately from 'putting on the suit' which has always been a direct, deceptive act.
I commit myself to show that we as a group of humans are responsible for our World Systems as these systems are in existence precisely as they are because these systems are precisely what we wanted them to be.
From my perspective, we've never taken this place seriously anyway - why would we take it seriously when we see this existence as temporary - like this is the shitty apartment that we're waiting out our time in while we have hope, faith, and trust that we'll get into our Dream Home someday. Why fix up the place when we've got a place waiting for us that's bigger, BETTER with Angels, halos, sparkles, gold, our favorite music playing 24-7 and everyone in our community is Happy, Blessed, and Special?
Regardless of what's waiting for us on the Other-Side, let's get to work on fixing this place up and making it into the Dream Home that we never want to leave.