Day 80: I Listen To My Inner-Voice

Throughout my life I have trusted my inner voice that tells me what to do, where to go, who to be, and who to be with at any given moment.  When I become uncomfortable with someone or something, I close my eyes, turn my head, ignore, pretend that it doesn't exist in my world or walk away.  When I'm watching TV, I will change the channel when pictures or stories of abused and starved animals and children come onto the screen - I tell myself that whatever it is that's giving me 'bad vibes' is only real I let it be real or if I give it attention. I have not seen myself as having the words to explain or make sense of the 'bad vibes' and 'negative feelings' that I am getting and in my world - I'm told that this okay and that I don't need to. I am told that I need to follow my 'gut instinct' and intuition.  I like this and I am comforted by this because I do not have to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen-to, trust, and be directed by my 'inner voice' that tells me what to do, where to go, who to be, and who to be with at any given moment.  I accept and allow my conscious to be my guide and my companion in my daily living and the result of this is me being in constant conflict with myself where I am always pulled in two different directions of Bad/Wrong/Negative and Good/Right/Positive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell myself that my negative reactions to others and things that I do not like is my 'inner voice' and my 'intuition' speaking to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore, 'X'-out, close my eyes, turn my head, walk away, or pretend something or someone doesn't exist in my world if it/they are negative in nature or don't 'vibe' with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I imagine an 'X' over something 'bad' or 'negative' that I will cancel it out and/or remove it from existence.  With the power of my mind, I believe this will work and that all I have to do was 'will it'.  While I practice this, I never once investigate the point to see if actually works in reality because I 'trust' that the Universe gets my message and will do with it what it will do with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my 'intuition' and my 'inner-voice' to have a power greater than my own where I make a religion out of following my 'intuition' and my 'inner voice' - I give my 'intuition' and 'inner-voice' God-like status. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is me as a physical body communicating to myself about myself, I separate myself into parts where my 'intuition' and 'inner-voice' are the All-Seeing and All-Knowing entity that exists within me that is my 'real self' that is not 'from this earth'.  Within this, I do not take responsibility for or investigate what I communicate to myself - I make assumptions, I create wondrous imaginations, and I tell myself that this is all an illusion because it's easy to do this and I make myself 'feel better' about myself in this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my 'vibes' to dictate who or what I am around.  I have not see, realized, nor understood that by me accepting and allowing myself to push others away because I get a 'bad vibe' that I am missing an opportunity to get to know someone that could be cool and show me parts of myself that I never considered.  On the flip-side, I choose to be around certain people and in specific situations that I am comfortable with because as long as I am in-control of my situation and/or the others in my life, I do not have to change.

 Self-Correction and Self-Commitment to follow.