Here I am writing Self-Correction and Self-Commitment from Day 80: I Listen To My Inner Voice writing and Self-Forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen-to, trust, and be directed by my 'inner voice' that tells me what to do, where to go, who to be, and who to be with at any given moment. I accept and allow my conscious to be my guide and my companion in my daily living and the result of this is me being in constant conflict with myself where I am always pulled in two different directions of Bad/Wrong/Negative and Good/Right/Positive.
When and as I see that I am directing myself according to what my inner-voice suggests without considering the consequences of what I am doing, where I am going, who I am, and who I am with in the moment which is indicated to me by myself not making a self-directed decision, I stop. I see, realize and understand that allowing my consciousness to be my guide places me in constant conflict with myself because on 'one side of me' I'm experiencing myself as negative due to the points that I have not stabilized myself within/as and 'on the other side of me' as my consciousness, I will deny the negative, tell myself 'how good I am' to off-set the negativity, and do whatever 'feels good' and comfortable in the moment. Within this, I see, realize, and understand that if I keep ignoring, down-playing, smoothing over, resisting, distracting myself from, and/or fleeing from what I judge as bad or wrong about me that the negative will keep coming back.
So, I commit myself to releasing myself from judging what I do, where I go, who I am, and/or who I am with as being bad and/or wrong by assisting and supporting myself with writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction for these negative points which will equalize me with the points and thus prevent myself from being in constant conflict with myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell myself that my negative reactions to others and things that I do not like is my 'inner voice' and my 'intuition' speaking to me.
When and as I see myself telling myself that my 'gut feeling' is me communicating to me as my 'inner-voice' and/or 'intuition, I stop. I breath. I see, realize, and understand that if I am experiencing movement in my 'gut' or 'solar-plexus' area that what I am in-fact looking at is a point of fear or excitement that is required to be cleared and that I am giving myself an opportunity to direct myself in this moment rather than be directed.
I commit myself to 'listening to my gut feeling' as a point of support for myself where I will take the opportunity to walk my reaction to an event, situation, person, memory, and/or thought - I will walk these trigger reaction points utilizing breath, my physical body, and my mind to communicate with myself about what it is that I'm required to be self-honest within/as myself and within this process, assist and support myself with writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore, 'X'-out, close my eyes, turn my head, walk away, or pretend something or someone doesn't exist in my world if it/they are negative in nature or don't 'vibe' with me.
When and as I see that I am abdicating my responsibility to my world and my reality as indicated by me attempting to ignore, cancel-out, x-out, close my eyes, turn my head, walk away, or pretend something or someone doesn't exist because I do not want to experience a negative reaction or investigate my 'bad vibe', I stop. I breath. First, I see, realize and understand that any 'vibe' that I experience is an energetic reaction that must be walked. And second, I see, realize, and understand that attempting to ignore or delete anything within in this existence with the 'power of my mind' and 'creative visualizations' has not worked - it is all still here and that if I want it to stop and not be apart of this world then I must stand up and be stable within my standing if I am ever going to be a part of changing this world.
I commit myself to no longer 'look away' from or 'x-out' something/someone here that I experience a negative 'vibe' from and instead breath and investigate myself with bringing the point that I'm reacting to back to myself as I see, realize, and understand from previous writings, self-forgiveness, and my studies that what is happening is simply a reflection of myself that I do not want to face. And so, I breath and I face it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my 'intuition' and my 'inner-voice' to have a power greater than my own where I make a religion out of following my 'intuition' and my 'inner voice' - I give my 'intuition' and 'inner-voice' God-like status. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is me as a physical body communicating to myself about myself, I separate myself into parts where my 'intuition' and 'inner-voice' are the All-Seeing and All-Knowing entity that exists within me that is my 'real self' that is not 'from this earth'. Within this, I do not take responsibility for or investigate what I communicate to myself - I make assumptions, I create wondrous imaginations, and I tell myself that this is all an illusion because it's easy to do this and I make myself 'feel better' about myself in this way.
When and as I see that I am going into my mind and making connections from the experiences in my daily living to my assumptions and imaginations, I stop. I see, realize, and understand that if I participate in this behavior of accepting and allowing myself to make assumptions based on my imagination connections, that I am taking the chance of creating a self-religious experience guided by my 'inner-voice' and 'intuition' that I have given God-like status because I tell myself what I want to hear as my Ego.
I commit myself to stop my participation in my imagination connections to the experiences in my life and thus my self-religion assumptions by 'grounding myself' here in physical reality - I do this in breath because from here in the moment of breath, I see when I am going into my mind because my sight blurrs, my thoughts begin moving away from me and/or disappear and I stop breathing and/or hold my breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my 'vibes' to dictate who or what I am around. I have not see, realized, nor understood that by me accepting and allowing myself to push others away because I get a 'bad vibe' that I am missing an opportunity to get to know someone that could be cool and show me parts of myself that I never considered. On the flip-side, I choose to be around certain people and in specific situations that I am comfortable with because as long as I am in-control of my situation and/or the others in my life, I do not have to change.
When and as I see that I am pushing others away as indicated by me not wanting to be around them or be seen with them, I stop. I breath. I remain here in the moment of breath where I investigate myself as others outside of myself reflect me back to myself because I see, realize, and understand that when in the situation where I want to get out/get away from others that do not fit my mind's description of how I want to be seen or who I want to be seen with, that what is in-fact happening is that I do not want myself or others to see the reflection of me or an interpretation of me that I do not 'approve'. Within this, when and as I find points within myself that I am attempting to control others perception of which will become clear to me in breath with others, I commit myself to an investigation of myself as to why I am attempting to control others perceptions of me and what exactly that is is that I fear losing and from here, I will assist and support myself with writing, self-forgiving, and self-correcting the points that I find while interacting with others.
No comments:
Post a Comment