Thursday, March 13, 2014

Day 176: How To Deal With Jealousy

Continuing with Self-Correction and Self-Commitment Statements from Day 175: Is The Grass Greener?


When and as I see that I am allowing myself to go into jealousy as indicated by me comparing myself to others - comparing what I see that they have that I do not see myself having, I stop and breathe - I let go. I realize that going into and becoming Jealous is my decision and that I no longer choose to be this way. Instead of going into comparison and negative self-judgment, I listen to myself communicating to me about what it is that I would like to give to myself and allow myself the time, attention, and focus to see if what I would like is practical and physically possible for me to give to myself.

I commit myself to stop automatically going into jealousy and I commit myself to question what it is that I am seeing in/as/with another that I would like to have myself - is what I want practical? If so, how do I plan to realize what I would like to have? Is this plan possible, non-compromising, and supportive?

When and as I see that I am wanting to possess or have for myself what others have because it looks better/superior to what I possess or have that I am seeing as less-than/inferior, I stop and breath. I realize that if I accept something and/or someone as being/having/possessing something/someone that is better-than/superior to what I am/have/possess, that I am and what I have as inferior/less-than. Within this, I realize that I have been existing within/as a perpetual movement between two polarities instead of seeing that I have rarely, if ever, made a real decision and that I have rarely, if ever, looked nor outside of the Superior/Inferior Polarities for what is actually best and supportive.

I commit myself to stop seeing what others have/are as being better/superior to what I have/am and within this, will stop seeing what I have/am as being less-than/inferior to what others have/are by reminding myself that when and as I allow myself to go into this Superior/Inferior Polarity-Pattern that I am not actually ever moving and that I am not actually ever changing anything - for better or worse. Instead of continuing to exist within my Superiority/Inferiority Polarity-Pattern, I will myself to change my perspective and utilize these moments with others to see, realize and understand where/how I have been limiting myself and where/how I can assist myself to be, live, and support myself with what I'm seeing in/as/with another.

When and as I see that I'm thinking, imagining or allowing a belief that I will express as others are expressing if/when/as I have the same exact internal and/or external object, relationship, career, experiences and/or point-of-view, I stop and breathe. I realize here that I am obviously creating this in my mind as indicated by my thinking, imagining, and belief processes from the starting point of want/desire and leading to expectations/hopes. Within this, there is no self-expression and most likely a great deal of self-disappointment depending on the extent that I have believed my thoughts and imaginations were possibly real.

I commit myself to stop going into believing, imagining, and thinking that I can have a certain positive experience/expression of myself if/when/as I can emulate/obtain the objects, relationships, career, experiences, and/or point-of-view of another who looks to be having a positive experience/expression. I will change my starting point of want/desire to curiosity and investigation when/as I find myself enjoying another's expression - here, I do not allow comparison and instead allow myself to be present, be grateful for the moment of being with myself and others, and ask questions about how others arrived at their individual expressions. So: I will enjoy, I will be curious, I will investigate, and I will ask questions!

When and as I see that I am competing from a starting point of jealousy, as indicated by me judging, becoming arrogant, manipulating, disregarding my physical body requirement of food and rest, and me CONSIDERING thinking, speaking, and/or acting in nasty, spiteful ways, I stop and breath. Just stop. I realize that I start this from an initial point of comparison from which I judge myself as inferior and so I go to the extreme polarity to prove myself to myself and the external world that I am superior. It's absolutely unnecessary.

I commit myself to stop comparing myself to others in a negative way. And I commit myself to stopping my automated arrogance, manipulation, disregard for myself, and nasty, spiteful thoughts, spoken words, and actions - here, I will slow myself down, be the directive principle, say, 'no, I will not go there,' and sound self-forgiveness.

When and as I see that I am allowing myself to think and believe (and act as if) I am lazy and procrastinator, I stop and breath. LOL. I realize that I am lazy and procrastinate when/as a point, moment, or specific physical movement does not interest me as my mind and that when/as a point, moment, or specific physical movement benefits me as my mind in some way, that I am extremely driven. So, I see that I am required to change my perspective, embrace my drive, and apply to points, movements, and my personal development.

I commit myself to embrace the physical drive-ability that I have shown myself time-and-time-again exists within and as me - and to utilize this drive, empowerment, and passion to move myself within and as points, movements, and personal development. I remind myself that it's a matter of changing my perspective - changing my mind - to see just how much of an adventure that I can have here by expanding myself, learning, testing out new things, and pushing myself beyond my comfort zone to see what I can actually do.

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