Day 6: Myself as the Consequence of not Self-Directing

My writing is self-forgiveness as I became angry within myself as my inner-responses toward another being outside of myself today.  I was in disagreement with what I was hearing and seeing from this person because I saw the communication from this person, to myself and others, as in-conflict with my perspectives and having a damaging effect on themself and others.  I was enraged. Within myself as my mind, I played out my making this person aware of the consequences of their words and actions.

What I did not see nor realize until later is that this person was not showing me their consequence, they were showing me a consequence that I am equally responsible for accepting, allowing, and supporting.  Here, I bring this back to myself.

• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept what I am taught and what I teach about 'Leadership' within the current systems of survival and money.
• I forgive myself that I have not accepted nor allowed myself to see the current manifestation of 'Leadership', as it is existing, for real, as a tool of manipulation that can and is used to ensure that my self-interests are satisfied and that my fears for survival are soothed and/or suppressed via separation, competition, superiority, and war.
• I forgive myself for not accepting nor allowing myself to see the consequences of my acceptance and allowance of the current system of Leadership.  I have not seen how I am directly responsible for creating war within this world.  I have not stopped to take a look at how I have directed myself within the pursuit money and my own personal happiness.  I do not allow myself to look at myself honestly so that I am able to see how I am 100% responsible for those that deceive, manipulate, compete with, weaponize, and remove beings who I see and label as a 'problem'.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pass my information, my knowledge, and my process of deceit, manipulation, competition, weaponization, war, winning, separation, and immobilization to those outside of myself who have or will become leaders without the understanding of how to direct themselves and thus do not understand how to direct others.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to earn money from and thus prey on others lack of self-awareness and lack of self-direction.
• I  forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell myself and others that is 'okay' to use others emotions and feelings as a weapon against them - as long as I/we win.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify within myself my messed-up behavioral pattern in which I direct myself to seek out what I see within others as weakness, reaction triggers, and points of interests so that I may use those points to control individuals outside of myself within my own self-interest.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see others as weaker than myself.
• I forgive myself for not accepting nor allowing myself to realize that by seeing others as weaker than myself, I am in fact, accepting that weakness exists and not being honest within communication with myself and others that I allow weakness to exist within me.  I seek out the weaknesses in others before they seek out the weaknesses in me so that I may use their weaknesses against others before they use my weakness against me.  I am protecting myself from others.  I am protecting myself from my self that I have projected on others.  I live in fear of others because I fear that which exists within myself.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do whatever takes to control others outside of myself because I am afraid of their potential to harm me and/or damage my ability to survive.  I will damage your ability to survive by using the corporate, legal, and money systems and/or policies against you.
• I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have a clear and thorough understanding of what Feelings and Emotions are so that I can educate others to better understand how Feelings and Emotions function within ourselves as our minds.  I forgive myself for not accepting nor allowing myself to be aware that Feelings and Emotions exist within my mind as my reactions to thoughts, memories, and pictures.  Feelings are positive and Emotions are negative - they are polarity points that I allow to create energy from which I can experience my thoughts, memories, and pictures as being 'real' within myself as my mind where nothing is real.  What is real is what is here, within my physical world.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell myself and others to 'not react' but within the next moments, tell them to make others react by 'pushing their buttons'.
• I forgive myself for not accepting nor allowing myself to give others outside of myself the same consideration that I direct myself to give myself.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my awareness of humans and how we function against us.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take my awareness of how we humans function and apply that to the learning process where I have directed myself to teach on conscious, subconscious, and unconscious levels where the brainwashing of the human being is effective.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to teach just enough truth so that the human allows for the deception to follow.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not research myself thoroughly as myself within the system.  If I had researched myself and had a clear understanding of myself and my responsibility to others outside of myself, I would not communicate my theories, beliefs, and/or interpretations that I have related to specific knowledge.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with myself in regards to what I say and what I do that are not in the best interest of everyone and everything.
• I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pity myself and others outside of myself for having to see, live within, and come face-to-face with our consequences for what we've accepted and allowed within ourselves as our fears and self-interests.
• I forgive myself for not accepting nor allowing myself to realize, understand, and be clear within myself my walls that I've built up around myself to protect myself from seeing and hearing what is painful for me to hear and see.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct myself to push myself to break down others walls that I see as a protection for themselves so they do not see and hear.  How can I make others see and hear if I am not seeing and hearing myself?

When and as I see how 'Leadership' functions within the system as it exists, I do not allow myself to become angry and/or compromise myself within and as back-chat. I stop and I breath until I am clear.  How Leadership is existing is how I have accepted and allowed it to exist.  I allow myself to expose the Leadership System to myself and direct myself to document what I am seeing within this exposure.  When and as I am satisfied within my understanding of the Leadership System as it currently exists, I commit myself to directing myself within the process of re-defining Leadership and sharing a solution that considers all life.

When and as I see myself as blaming others outside of myself as the cause for the reason that the current Leadership System exists, I stop. I breath.  I bring myself back to myself as equal and one with and as the Leadership System and see where, how, and why it exists within me and as me.  I direct myself to do the same with all blame - When and as I see myself blaming others outside of myself as the cause for any of the systems that exists here, I stop. I breath.  I bring the system back to myself as equal and one with myself as the system.  By bringing the system back to myself as myself communicating to myself about myself, I expose both the how the system functions and how I function, to myself.

When and as I am participating in an event in my life that is required by my survival system, I do not place myself within a verbal and/or spoken disagreement with the event.  I stop. I breath.  I listen, I observe, I remain present and I do not allow back-chat as a distraction from what I am resisting as the event.  I direct myself to be IN this system, not OF this system.