In this blog I am writing out, self-forgiving, self-correcting, and making self-commitments for my Ego within the point, "I Have Everything". For previous work within this point, see:
Day 70: I Have Everything - Fears
Day 72: I Have Everything - Part 2 - Thoughts
Day 73: I Have Everything - Part 3 - Imagination
Day 74: I Have Everything - Part 4 - Backchat
Day 75: I Have Everything - Part 5 - Reactions
Day 76: I Have Everything - Part 6 - Physical Dimension
When I was in my early 20's, I spent a lot of time with a person who taught me Positive Thinking and the Law of Attraction (before it was The Secret). This person taught me Positive Affirmations, would share inspirational stories and books, introduced me to a Psychic that taught me Psychometry, and was a living example of what 'Having Everything' looked like. I can still see this person's euphoric expression within my mind every time I look at what I have and/or don't have with worry and hear her affirmation, "I Have Everything That I Need ..."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would not have everything that I need and/or want and from this fear, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a 'Positive Thinker' in Hopes that it would keep me from ever going without and to calm myself when I worry about the lack of stuff/over-abudance of stuff that I have.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I 'just think positively' and do not allow negative thoughts within myself, my environment and my world, then everything will be 'just fine'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine within my mind that 'everything I need and want' will come to me if I close my eyes, smile, breath, and imagine everything/something that I want/need coming to me and the exact details of how it will arrive to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back-chat, "That person thinks SO negative - eww - I can't stand to be around them and I don't want their negativity to influence my positivity..." to exist within and as me. And thus, I forgive myself that I have not see, realized, nor understood that I am in-fact communicating to myself within my back-chat, telling myself, "I am so negative ... Why can't I make this stop ... I hate being around myself and I'm not worthy of those positive people that can make this 'Positive Thought'-thing work - I don't want to taint their goodness and success with my failure."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react positively when I 'get' what I wanted/needed and react negatively when I did not 'get' what I wanted/needed with my Positive Thinking Affirmations. When I get what I wanted/needed, I experience a euphoria, a confirmation of myself as being recognized by 'The Universe' as deserving/good, being Superior over others, and taking pleasure in the fact that I have something that others do not. When I do not get what I wanted/needed, I experience anger with myself, disappointment with myself, depressed that I 'must not be good enough or I did not do it right', being Inferior to others, and jealous and/or spiteful that others have something that I wanted/needed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically express myself within myself being a 'Positive Thinker' character as a smiling, good-natured person that is blessed - when I see myself this way within my mind, my eyes are closed and the Light and Love of the Universe illuminates my face.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the consequences of myself participating in this 'I Have Everything I Need' Character is that I created self-doubt within myself, I have created competition for money/energy between myself and others, dishonesty within/as myself that anything 'Positive' exists, a physical expression of myself as a 'Blessed Being' as a cover-up so that I do not have look at what's really going on with me which is Anger, Disappointment, Depression, Not Being 'Good Enough', 'Wrong', Inferiority, Jealousy, and Spitefulness.
When and as I see that I am shifting into my 'I Have Everything' Character as indicated by my telling myself that 'I have everything I need ...' as an affirmation, I stop. I breath myself back to my physical reality where I see, realize, and understand that the consequences of myself participating in this character's affirmations is that I'm self-sabotaging myself and my process of realizing myself when I accept and allow myself to be dishonest with myself - and within this dishonesty, I will get 'caught up' in reactions.
I commit myself to no longer allow the 'I Have Everything I Need' Character by stopping myself from participating with the affirmations that I have programmed into myself.
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to physically express myself as a 'Blessed Being' of 'Light and Universal Love' by not allowing myself to direct my physical body based on a memory of another's expression. Additionally, when other points come up within this 'Blessed Being' of 'Light and Universal Love'-ness, I commit myself to assist and support myself with self-forgiving myself for accepting and allowing these memories and/or visions to exist within and as me.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize, and understand WHY I am so miserable with being here that I must look outside of myself for rewards and positive experiences in order to 'feel better' - I will do this by investigating myself and writing out points that come up in my day-to-day living when and as I am experiencing myself as either High or Low.
I commit myself to stop projecting my 'negativity' on to others while seeing myself as as the 'positive' one by bring the points of negativity back to myself and self-honestly seeing how this negativity is in-fact me - from here, I will assist and support myself to write out and self-forgive myself for the negative, the bad, the ugly, and the out-right evil that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me.
I commit myself to no longer direct/be directed by imagination within my own self-interest but to instead use my imagination to assist and support myself and others in bringing to reality a solution that is in the best interest of all.
I commit myself to stop telling myself that 'everything is going to be fine' as I see, realize, and understand that this is not true when I see my life and my world as it exists currently. I will do this by stating to myself 'STOP' when and as I am attempting to calm, relieve, ignore and/or give myself a back-door out of an emotion, reaction, situation, and/or event within myself or my world.
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to fear that I will 'go without' as fearing 'going without' hasn't changed a thing - I have gone without and I have gone with. Further, fear is not real - fear is either a memory of the past or an imagination for/in the future - neither of which exist here in the moment breathing.