Day 200: Responsibility Sets Me Free

Artwork by Andrew Gable
http://andrewgableart.com/

If there is one point that I am able to share with all of my fellow human beings, it is this:

You can take responsibility for everything.

People often come to me to express their problems.  The majority of these problems are with their relationships - how the relationships are not working, all of the things that their partner's are doing wrong, how their partner won't change, and how disappointed, frustrated, and angry they are.  Most of the time (if not always), I look for points where an individual can take responsibility for their creation of the problems and sometimes, when possible, I express these points.  In general, I have found that when an individual's responsibility for the creation of their problems is expressed to them that they have a clear understanding of what's being said - they begin to breath, their body relaxes, they often smile, and I see what I can best describe as self-awareness and self-honesty in their facial features where they are freed from themselves for a moment.

For a moment.  Until they say, "I know ... but ...", then attempt to go back into their problems again, they go back into the emotions, and they go back into imprisoning themselves in these individualized self-victimizing personality bubbles.

It's like there's this outright refusal to take responsibility and this refusal makes living impossible.

I don't know exactly why it is this way and I don't know why it seems like the universe has been set-up in such a way that that there are certain laws that we must honor in order to be okay in this existence - and, I really don't think the why here even matters at this point as much as the actual problems and solutions that can be seen right here and right now.

So here's the thing: I have come to realize that taking responsibility sets us free.  I have looked for a way around this and I am here to say that it's impossible.  You can't get out of this and to try will simply repeat the same sequence of events and patterns over-and-over-again and things will get worse and worse.  You're going to have to take responsibility for everything - yourself, your personal relationships, and everything that exists on this planet that we share.

And you know, it's all the same - every problem that you have with others are the same problems that you have with yourself and the world.  Every pattern that you repeat over-and-over again, every character that you play, and all of the beliefs that you refuse to let go of are just your way of trying to get a handle on your life and make it through this existence without ever changing any of it.

Do you want to have a cool relationship where you are free to realize your potential as individuals and together?  Do you want a world where all are free from debt and enslavement? Do you want to be free from the constant thoughts and emotions that come up within you?

Stop waiting for someone to do this all for you.  Take responsibility.  Stop attempting to shut out the truth of yourself and allow yourself to get to know who and what you really are - who and what you have accepted and allowed yourself to become.  Everything that exists here exists because it exists within and as us.

Don't believe me - test it out for yourself.  My suggestion would be to take one point that is annoying you, scaring the heck out of you, something that makes you angry, or completely frustrated, whether it's Barack Obama being a pawn of some evil cabal, the militarization of the police, an alien invasion, or your partner leaving their dirty towel on the bathroom floor.  Take that point and bring it back to yourself: When have I done a similar thing? Under what circumstances would I do the very same thing? Why do I allow this for myself and others?  Why does this exist? Where does this exact same construct exist within me? Why am I blaming something outside of myself and expecting it to change when I have not changed it myself?

It's really that simple.  It's not easy to actually do it but the process is simple.

I mean, if you understand the problem then you're going to look for solutions and when you've got a solid, practical solution that you commit yourself to and actually change yourself with, then you've taken responsibility, show others how to do the same, and stand as an example.  It takes practice to move yourself from being an individual that is consumed by problems to an individual that is directing what comes up in life - but you can do this.  Seriously, if I can do this, anyone can.

To make this process easier, I suggest starting with taking the free DIP Lite course.  And if that works out for you, get into DIP Pro.  You can also check out some cool blogs where it can be seen how others - everyday people like you and me who are taking responsibility for the creation of what exists in this world.  Here's a few (of many) links to blogs you may find interesting and supportive:

Creation's Journey To Life (suggest to start at Day 1)
Crime's Journey To Life (also start at Day 1)
Earth's Journey To Life (also cool to start at Day 1. I utilize this site when I'm looking for perspective on specific points - here's the timeline)
Activists Journey To Life

Day 199: When A Friend Bullies Another Friend

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say nothing when and as I have seen or heard others being bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'laugh it off' when and as I see or hear someone bullying, being mean, and/or being deliberately spiteful with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that others will take responsibility for their bullying, mean, and/or deliberate spitefulness toward others - especially when I, in my mind, see the bully as respectable individual and essentially look up to them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I attempt to 'laugh off' things that I am uncomfortable with - like bullying and deliberate being mean and spiteful - to try and make myself okay with it. And within this, make myself okay with myself for not only the times that I have been the bully but also for all of the times that I was too fearful to step up and say something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to make myself okay with myself having bullied, harassed, been mean, and/or deliberately spiteful with others. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the excuse, justification and reason for my words and actions of 'but I don't like them' to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I have connected fear to respect - where I have been living out respect as fear and within this, allowed myself and others to be compromised because I fear losing the respect of the person that I respect.

I forgive myself that I have not given myself respect and instead attempted to give it to others - I have not seen,  realized, nor understood that until I give respect to myself, that any attempt that I make to give respect to others will be charged with nervousness, fear, and anxiety because I have not been standing AS respect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to make myself okay with the times that I have been bullied, harassed and/or been the target of someone's hatred, being spiteful and/or being mean. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself and believe that when I have been the target of another's hatred, spite, and anger that it's justifiable because of something I did, said, and/or there is something wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself and believe that something must be wrong with an individual or that they must have done something wrong in some way to deserve being bullied - especially if the bully is someone that I like, respect and/or have a positive relationship with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself and others when and as there is bullying because I believe that there will be negative consequences or that me standing up and saying something will only make the situation worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my past experiences with bullies and angry individuals to influence how I direct myself now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my fear of being the target of another's hatred to be the starting point of how I direct myself when faced with a situation where there is bullying and deliberate spite and meanness going on.

And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for me not standing and saying something when I have been in a situation where someone is being a bully, being deliberately spiteful and being mean. Instead of looking for solutions to how such a situation could be handled, I have gone into self-victimization which has only perpetuated the problem and allowed for it's continued existence.

So within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continually bring up in my mind the times that I have not stood up and said something when I should have - where I have told myself that I should or could have done something but at the same time not ever actually coming to an agreement with myself about what I could do if or when it happens again.

I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to 'laugh it off' if and when someone is being bullied by when and as I experience being physical uncomfortable when seeing and/or hearing one individual being mean, nasty, and/or deliberately spiteful to another, I breath and stop myself from going into an automatic mind possession.  I remind myself of my commitment to not resist the uncomfortable moments that come up in life and direct myself to see what's coming up within me and apply self-forgiveness for what I'm seeing within/as me.  Here, I allow myself the physical time required to look at the best of assisting and supporting the bully as well as the person that is on the receiving end of their dislike, hatred, and/or anger.  Within this:

I commit myself to have an understanding and thus a standing of bullying and how to direct bullying in a way that is supportive for myself and others.

And I commit myself to be clear of reactions to dislike, hatred, anger and spitefulness so that I may effectively direct myself and others when in a bully experience.

To additionally support myself, I commit myself to establish self-respect so that I am not longer influenced by a fear of losing respect.

When and as I see that I am going into self-judgment because I see later that I could or should have done or said something that may have assisted with stopping a bully, I stop and breath.  I remind myself that change and living solutions take time, patience, and practice.  In these moments of self-judgment, instead of victimizing myself, I take note of what I may have been able to do to improve the situation and see if I can integrate what I find into my application.

Day 198: Living and Being A Part of Life

I forgive myself that have not accepted and allowed myself to see and be a part of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in my mind created this belief, idea and fantasy that life is this wonderful, beautiful, and peaceful kind of existence that is currently separate from me and is 'somewhere out there' waiting for me to become good enough or to achieve something special in order to see and be a part of life.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I cannot see nor can I have access to life. And within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it has actually been my decision to not see, have access to, and be a part of life because I have chosen my mind life over real physical life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that life is here and that in order to see life that I must take the time to look, research, investigate, and self-educate.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be and live life because I have been physically uncomfortable with life, I have feared the unpredictability of life, I rarely find joy in life, and I generally have not liked life at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and live life as a series of unpredictable negative, positive, and/or neutral experiences, events, and things that are coming at me from outside of me - where I have wanted no part of the things that I have seen as negative and have been mostly cool with anything positive or neutral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only want to live life and be a part of the things in life that I have defined as positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tried to ignore life when and as I see or experience something in life that I have defined as negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted to remove myself from life when I have seen or experienced life as negative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not understand what Here is - and to not understand what directing self here in breath actually entails. And I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that being here and being an active participant with life and directing myself according to what is best for myself and others - no matter what comes up - is living. 

I commit myself to see life and participate with life.

I commit myself to always remind myself that life is not something separate from me 'somewhere out there' and I commit myself to stop seeing, living out, and having a relationship with life in my mind.

When as I see that I am believing the idea that I cannot have access to life or that I am telling myself that I cannot have access to life unless something happens or I become something else that I currently do not see that I am, I stop and I breath. I realize that I am not locked out life and that life is already here and around me. I realize that to become life, I must participate with life, learn from life, and see myself as / become equal-to life.

I commit myself to stop limiting myself with ideas and beliefs that I've manufactured in my mind about life and myself becoming life by allowing myself to let go of my preconceived ideas and beliefs about what life is and opening myself up to see life, be apart of life, and learn about life.

When and as I see that I have become physically uncomfortable with life - what's happening in my life and what's happening globally with life, I stop and I breath.  I realize that me being uncomfortable is me simply not having any previous experience with what's going on and instead of going into resistance or ignoring what I don't understand, I direct myself to investigate and understand.

I commit myself to see the gift in situations or moments where I experience being uncomfortable and utilize this as a flagpoint for something to research, investigate, and understand.  Within this, I commit myself to specifically see and understand how these points are in-fact a part of me and so bring these points back to myself.

I commit myself to no longer gravitate to the positive and ignore the negative - this includes any preconceived ideas and beliefs I have about life, what life is, and what life should be.

I commit myself to stand and be stable with and as life by understanding what I am facing and always looking for and testing out potential solutions.

When and as I see that I am wanting, desiring, thinking about, and/or wishing that I was never here and/or that I am no longer here, I stop and breath.  I remind myself that choice is an illusion which is proven by the very fact that I did not choose to be here - however, I am here and I commit myself to create the best possible life for myself and others while I am here.

I commit myself to be a part of the process of removing the old - the world that no one should be born into - and being a part of realizing and making real a world where any one would want to be.

Day 197: My Way

A point that has repeatedly resurfaced for me throughout time has been me seeing that things must be done 'my way'.  I have seen myself going into this mindset with my children, my other family members, my partnership with my husband, my friends, my career, how I have lived leadership roles, how I work in the system, my education process, and day-to-day living like paying bills and how the house is cleaned.   In my mind, in order for things to be perfect, these things must be done 'just so'.

Image source: rewondered.com

When I have seen reality - when I have seen that I cannot make others do things my way - I have attempted to give up on others, myself, my ideas, my beliefs, and my known way of doing things. However, because my ideas and beliefs about what's best have still existed within me as memories, experiences, and physical ways of doing things that 'work' for me over time, I have never really ever been able give up my ideas, beliefs and ways of doing things - nor have I ever been able to give up on myself and others.

I realize that this giving up never lasts which indicates to me that it's an energetic experience which is not real and then on the other-hand, this having to do things 'my way' is quite real because it is my pre-programming, I have accepted the imprinting of others' words and behaviors, and I have also allowed it to become a part of me because of my utilization of my pre-programming, my participation with the illusions I've created in my mind, and my acting out what I have seen in others when they have gotten things done 'their way'.

As I look at the point, I see that this point exists within all of us - our need for our beliefs to be right and our desire to have our ideas be perfect. So, perhaps I'm not only facing a personal or a interpersonal problem but also an existential predicament.

Because we are physically and mentally separate from each other, we have the tendency to make ourselves the center of existence - we alone live and breath with ourselves day-after-day-after-day.  We may share ourselves and our physical space with others but when it comes down to it, we always only have ourselves within and as us.  Pair that isolation with a mind that records our personal experiences, functions in a constant state of self-preservation and survival, and maintains it's existence by utilizing that energy generated when one gets one own way or not, and our ability to see, be aware of and consider others, beliefs, ideas, and ways of doing things is impaired.

Further, when another challenges, opposes, or is not in agreement with our beliefs, ideas, and ways of doing things, we can become quite nasty because these are points that we have defined ourselves by, have been living out, and see as who we are - and who we are is what we choose in our own way - and in that respect, is perfect.  And being Perfect As You Are is just another idea that's thickly layered on and around our existing ideas and beliefs to keep them and ourselves in place.

Another dimension I have seen is having to do with insecurity.  I recently listened to a discussion entitled Insecurity: Going Deeper: Introduction - Atlanteans – Part 248 on Eqafe which assisted me to see where and why I created this fear of being wrong or doing something wrong and how my insecurity has been triggered when I have been faced with something where there is a potential for me to mess it up or to get in trouble somehow.

And today, I listened to Everything Must Be Just So - Life Review which opened my eyes up to how I have been attempting to control others and how things go as to avoid insecurity and avoid going into something that is unpredictable, is outside of my comfort zone, is challenging, looks overwhelming or may change something in some way.

Which brings me to the fear of the unknown - the things I don't understand, the things I can not predict the outcome of, and the things that I simply have not known what to do with because I have not familiarized myself with these things and haven't known what to do with or about them.  This is where I have had the tendency to react and to handle these unpredictable things with emotions.

Being emotional hasn't improved my situation much - and even if I did somehow manage get out of not facing a point that I'm not comfortable with by having a tempter tantrum, convincing myself and others that I'm not capable of dealing with the thing, or going into doing these things 'my way', I have not challenged myself to be able to handle whatever life brings and so I have not allowed myself to accept and participate with life.

After investigating all of this, I see that the solution is to breath and not react - and perfect this.  I also see that it's an absolute must to participate with life by understanding, problem-solving, and directing the things that are new, unfamiliar, or seemingly beyond my ability to control.

More to come.