|Artwork by Andrew Gable|
If there is one point that I am able to share with all of my fellow human beings, it is this:
You can take responsibility for everything.
People often come to me to express their problems. The majority of these problems are with their relationships - how the relationships are not working, all of the things that their partner's are doing wrong, how their partner won't change, and how disappointed, frustrated, and angry they are. Most of the time (if not always), I look for points where an individual can take responsibility for their creation of the problems and sometimes, when possible, I express these points. In general, I have found that when an individual's responsibility for the creation of their problems is expressed to them that they have a clear understanding of what's being said - they begin to breath, their body relaxes, they often smile, and I see what I can best describe as self-awareness and self-honesty in their facial features where they are freed from themselves for a moment.
For a moment. Until they say, "I know ... but ...", then attempt to go back into their problems again, they go back into the emotions, and they go back into imprisoning themselves in these individualized self-victimizing personality bubbles.
It's like there's this outright refusal to take responsibility and this refusal makes living impossible.
I don't know exactly why it is this way and I don't know why it seems like the universe has been set-up in such a way that that there are certain laws that we must honor in order to be okay in this existence - and, I really don't think the why here even matters at this point as much as the actual problems and solutions that can be seen right here and right now.
So here's the thing: I have come to realize that taking responsibility sets us free. I have looked for a way around this and I am here to say that it's impossible. You can't get out of this and to try will simply repeat the same sequence of events and patterns over-and-over-again and things will get worse and worse. You're going to have to take responsibility for everything - yourself, your personal relationships, and everything that exists on this planet that we share.
And you know, it's all the same - every problem that you have with others are the same problems that you have with yourself and the world. Every pattern that you repeat over-and-over again, every character that you play, and all of the beliefs that you refuse to let go of are just your way of trying to get a handle on your life and make it through this existence without ever changing any of it.
Do you want to have a cool relationship where you are free to realize your potential as individuals and together? Do you want a world where all are free from debt and enslavement? Do you want to be free from the constant thoughts and emotions that come up within you?
Stop waiting for someone to do this all for you. Take responsibility. Stop attempting to shut out the truth of yourself and allow yourself to get to know who and what you really are - who and what you have accepted and allowed yourself to become. Everything that exists here exists because it exists within and as us.
Don't believe me - test it out for yourself. My suggestion would be to take one point that is annoying you, scaring the heck out of you, something that makes you angry, or completely frustrated, whether it's Barack Obama being a pawn of some evil cabal, the militarization of the police, an alien invasion, or your partner leaving their dirty towel on the bathroom floor. Take that point and bring it back to yourself: When have I done a similar thing? Under what circumstances would I do the very same thing? Why do I allow this for myself and others? Why does this exist? Where does this exact same construct exist within me? Why am I blaming something outside of myself and expecting it to change when I have not changed it myself?
It's really that simple. It's not easy to actually do it but the process is simple.
I mean, if you understand the problem then you're going to look for solutions and when you've got a solid, practical solution that you commit yourself to and actually change yourself with, then you've taken responsibility, show others how to do the same, and stand as an example. It takes practice to move yourself from being an individual that is consumed by problems to an individual that is directing what comes up in life - but you can do this. Seriously, if I can do this, anyone can.
To make this process easier, I suggest starting with taking the free DIP Lite course. And if that works out for you, get into DIP Pro. You can also check out some cool blogs where it can be seen how others - everyday people like you and me who are taking responsibility for the creation of what exists in this world. Here's a few (of many) links to blogs you may find interesting and supportive:
Creation's Journey To Life (suggest to start at Day 1)
Crime's Journey To Life (also start at Day 1)
Earth's Journey To Life (also cool to start at Day 1. I utilize this site when I'm looking for perspective on specific points - here's the timeline)
Activists Journey To Life