|Art By Marlen Vargas Del Razo|
Self-Forgiveness, Self-Correction, and Self-Commitment Statements from Day 35: You, Sir ... are an asshole
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'point a finger' of blame toward/at others outside of myself. I have seen myself pointing my finger of blame at others but have not wanted to be honest with myself because I have not wanted to take responsibility for myself, my judgements, and my fears as I see/saw it as 'easier' to abuse an other, mind-job an other and expect another to take responsibility for themselves rather than to stand and direct myself.
Within this, I forgive myself that haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize the extent and harshness of/from which I have been abusing and mind-fucking myself with judgements and blame. As I have separated myself from others and not brought anything outside of my physical body back to my myself, I have not given myself the opportunity to see the consequences of my actions/reactions because I have been in my mind where I drive myself to manifest my self-interests.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as my mind to create an 'uncomfortable' sensation within my physical body when I am faced with the truth of myself with myself and/or an other. Instead of committing myself to standing where I face my messes, take responsibility for myself, and directly change my patterns, I re-treat into my mind where I can recall and then express all of the information and memories that I have collected but have not walked nor become clear within myself.
I commit myself to take responsibility for myself and direct myself. I commit myself to stand as a living example of this written and spoken commitment.
I commit myself to stop the conflict, abuse, judgement, and blame within and as myself. I commit myself to investigate all points by bringing all that I have separated from myself back to myself. I commit myself to direct myself to solutions that are in the best interest of all and that all can agree to and within this, I commit myself to becoming the solution and thus commit myself to no longer compromising myself or others.
When and as I see and/or hear myself pointing a finger of blame at an other, I stop. I breath. I see, realize, and understand that I am reacting to a point that I have not yet become equal and one as myself with. From here, I see these reactions as a gift of myself that must be brought back into/as myself gently without judgement, blame, and/or unreal expectations of myself - thus, I move and direct myself to self-forgive myself for all of my reactions so that I can clear myself, free myself, change myself, and trust myself to stand as/for equality, oneness, and actual living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality that I can become that myself and others will accept and allow because of the polarity expression within the character as my mind and my physical body where I am communicating/expressing both the positive and negative of myself and others as the 'You, Sir ... Are An Asshole' Character where: YOU, is the calling out of another to blame/judge/expect change, SIR is a patronizing/dishonest/manipulation of a word I've defined as how one communicates respect and ARE AN ASSHOLE as defined and expressed by myself would place another as a HUGE JERK. Within this conflicted/polarity expression of words/communication, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically express a cocky smile and an injection of charisma as a means to get away within/as not having to take responsibility for my words, actions, and reactions.
Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for using the 'You, Sir ... Are An Asshole' Character and thus experience remorse and guilt where I tell myself that I have hurt and fucked with another and thus am 'unworthy' because I KNOW better. And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself as the opposite that 'HEY! I -do- know better ... I know sooooooooo much more than the other person and thus my actions are completely justifiable/understandable!" And within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then tell myself who I am as the neutral version of myself when I say within myself, "Oh well. Whatever. I screwed up. We all do. You live and you learn. You move on to try again another day ..."
Because this 'You, Sir ... are an asshole' Character is an expression of polarity, an abdication of myself, a compromise of myself, a lie and an abuse of life,
I commit myself to not ever using/assuming the role of the 'You, Sir ... are an asshole' Character to blame, judge, and/or express points that I have not walked myself to/as others.
When and as I see my 'You, Sir ... Are An Asshole' Character come up within me, I stop. I breath. I remove myself from the person/event/experience and investigate myself - I see, realize and understand that if this character is coming to the surface of myself that I am already in survival mode and thus remove myself in that moment before I compromise myself/another and within this, I slow myself and self-forgive myself to see where I have not been effective and self-correct.