Day 169: I Hope Things Get Better - Part 2

Here continuing with Self-Correction and Self-Commitment from Day 168: I Hope Things Get Better - Part 1.

When and as I see that I am going into Hope as indicated by me deliberately attempting to ignore, put-off, and wait-for the events and situations in my reality to ‘work themselves out’ in a positive way, I stop, breath, and do NOT go into a distraction. I realize that I must stand up, take responsibility for myself and my reality and move myself to make decisions for change, plan how to implement these decisions, and then physically do the work required to change the situation.

I commit myself to stop going into Hope and within this stop attempting to ignore, put-off, and wait-for the events and situations in my reality to ‘work themselves out’ by instead standing up, taking responsibility for myself and my reality and moving myself to make decisions for change, planning how to implement my decisions for change and then physically doing the work required that will actually change my situation.

When and as I see that I am not being the direct guiding principle of myself as indicated by me becoming overwhelmed with problems instead of going into solutions, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is how I begin the process of my self-sabotage and that if I go into this overwhelmed experience that I will then trigger my pattern of procrastination and justify my not standing with the statement, “there’s nothing I can do to change this at the moment,” where I wait and do nothing.

I commit myself to be the direct guiding principle of myself by not allowing myself to become overwhelmed when I see problems and stopping myself from saying, “there’s nothing I can do at the moment,” and stopping myself from procrastinating. Within this, I commit myself to go into the solutions creation process when and as I see problems.

When and as I see that I am deliberately attempting to ignore what I see are problems and/or overwhelming events as indicated by me distracting myself with other tasks, ‘forgetting’ about a problem, and/or telling myself that, “things will work out on their own if I leave them alone,” I stop and breathe. I realize that problems don’t work themselves out and that problems are actually potential solutions that require physical movement/force to be worked out. I realize that I have limited myself by allowing myself to believe that I am not capable of physically moving a problem to a solution and within this, taking the easy way out instead of facing my personal beliefs of insecurity and fear.

I commit myself to STOP my deliberate attempts at ignoring a problem and then trying to pass the problems off to others when I am unable to forget the problem and/or the problem doesn’t ‘work out on its own’ and continues to emerge by when and as I see problems, remind myself that problems are potential solutions that require physical movement and from here, push myself to be that force that moves the problem to a solution. Here, I show myself that I am able to realize solutions and within this, assist and support myself to see that how I have allowed my beliefs, insecurities, and fears have limited me.

When and as I see that I am not moving myself to assist and support myself to make changes, improvements, and/or preventative actions with the reason, justification, excuse, and/or belief that I have had miraculous experiences in the past where my life ‘suddenly gets better’ and so it’s ‘okay’ to Hope that it will happen again, I stop and breath. I realize that within Hope, I am looking and waiting for a positive energetic experience – I am addicted to and possessed with/by this tiny sliver of ‘goodness’. Not once have a stopped to question why I apparently need this positive energetic experience nor have a looked beyond placing my trust in Hope and investigated ways of making changes, improvements, and/or preventative actions so that I am no longer looking-for and waiting-for a positive sudden energetic fix.

I commit myself to stop looking for and waiting for something positive to happen – I commit myself to stop going into Hope by when and as points come up that require to be fixed, improved, and/or change, I physically move myself to fix, improve, and/or change these points.

Day 168: I Hope Things Get Better - Part 1

I often go into Hope when I experience being overwhelmed with the negative events in my life where I Hope that ‘things will get better’. When I am Hoping, I am not the directive principle and instead I’m waiting for something positive to happen – I deliberately attempt to ignore the overwhelming negative events, tell myself that ‘there’s nothing I can do to change it at this moment’, distract myself with other tasks, and forget about the problem for a little while before the thoughts, fears, and emotions that I have attached to the negative events reemerge. On occasions something ‘happens’ to improve my situation where my life looks quite miraculous because I haven’t actually moved myself to assist with this improvement - It’s these miraculous and positive experiences with events in my life ‘suddenly getting better’ that I have used to keep myself locked into Hope, to not take responsibility for my living, and to not do the make decisions, do the work, and make the changes required for my situation to improve. I realize that I can no longer Hope that my situation and the events in my reality will change for the better and that what is actually required is for me to make decisions and move myself within these decisions for anything with in my reality, including myself, to in-fact change.

SELF-FORGIVENESS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into Hope when and as I experience being overwhelmed with what I see as negative events in my reality. Instead of standing up, taking responsibility for myself and my reality, and moving myself to make decisions and changes, I attempt to ignore the situations and distract myself with other tasks and entertainment while I hope and wait for the situations in my reality to ‘work themselves out’ positively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be the direct guiding principle of myself where instead of going into solutions, I overwhelm myself with problems until I separate and abdicate myself from the problems by saying, “there’s nothing I can do to change this at the moment,” and then give myself over to Hope where I wait for a positive change to happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately attempt to ignore problems and/or overwhelming events, distract myself with other tasks, and ‘forget’ about the problem until the thoughts, fears, and emotions that I have attached to the negative events reemerge. I have convinced myself that ‘things will work out on their own if I leave them alone’, in-spite of the fact that I see that things just don’t ‘work out on their own’ and that problems require for someone or something to actually physically move and/or be a force for problems to work out. I do not allow myself to be that movement and force and I instead allow others to do this for me because I believe myself to be limited with what I can do and that things will work out better if someone/something more capable than me handles the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself to assist and support myself to make changes, improvements, and/or preventative actions within my reality because, on occasion, I experience my life ‘suddenly getting better’ with no action, change, nor movement on my part – and I like this and experience a positive energetic feeling of a miracle, a blessing, Good Karma, and/or that someone/something ‘out there’ separate from me with Universe Powers must Love me. I hold onto these moments and Hope that they will continue to play-out so that I do not have to apply myself, take responsibility for my living, make decisions, nor make the changes required for my living situation to improve. Here, I have locked myself into Hope and become possessed with/by Hope and within this, I have limited myself from realizing my potential – all because I fear losing this glimmer of a potential positive experience.

Day 146: Making It About Me

Part One of Self-Correction and Self-Commitment statements for Self-Forgiveness on Day 145: Hearing What I Want Hear

Day 145: Hearing What I Want To Hear

Day 145: Hearing What I Want To Hear

When and as I see that I am allowing myself to participate in thoughts about how what I am hearing must be about me, I stop and I breath.  I see, realize, and understand that I am participating with information that is being filtered through my mind and thus cannot be trusted - I am hearing only what I want to hear to keep myself distracted and disinformed.  Additionally, I see, realize and understand that this creates paranoia which is unnecessary.

I commit myself to when and as thoughts come up about how what I am hearing is about me, to allow myself to stop making everything about me and to instead, hear what is being said - actually listen to the message. 

I commit myself to practice no longer allowing myself to be distracted by my thoughts while hearing what another is saying via written or spoken communication by pushing myself to not take the thought-bait.  When and as I am in face-to-face or on the phone communication, I breath and allow myself to stay present.  When and as I am reading, listening-to, or watching something and I see that I am 'missing' parts and not hearing everything because I am participating with my thoughts, I stop and I go back to the beginning until I am able to hear and/or see all that's being communicated without drifting off into my thoughts.

When and as I see that I am allowing myself to participate with the thought, 'You're/I am not doing enough - you/I need to do more' and other thoughts where I tell myself what I am, who/what I need to be doing - I stop and I breath.  I see, realize, and understand that these are thoughts that I programmed into myself from somewhere in my past and I kept them because it has motivated me to get things done - one way or another - and has rewarded me with many successes in the system.  So, instead of allowing these thoughts to direct and change who/what I am, it would be best for me to investigate their origin and see if I can use them to get things done in a non-abusive, non-conflicting, and self-directed way.

I commit myself to work on no longer allowing myself to be directed by the random 'I'm not doing enough - I need to do more' thoughts and to instead get rid of the fears surrounding these thoughts with self-forgiveness and get down to really understanding them and if I can direct/utilize them in some way that is supportive.