In this blog I'm going into how I have been living the Word Force in response to my thoughts, imaginations, reactions and fears in relation to the Word and then taking responsibility and standing equal-to what I have blindly accepted as the meanings/definitions of the Word Force with self-forgiveness as to assist and support myself to no longer be influenced by the thoughts, imaginations, reactions, and fears that come up when or as I see, here, or speak the Word Force.
In a previous blog, I researched the dictionary and etymological definitions for the Word Force and found the good, the bad, and the ugly definitions and meanings that have been connected to Force and saw how I have allowed myself to be moved and changed by the Word Force depending on the situation, event, and/or context in which the word has been used and the energetic reaction - either positive, neutral, or negative - that I have connected to the specific situation, event, and/or context via actual, observed, shared and/or imagined experiences in the past.
So here I will begin self-forgiveness, self-correction, and self-commitment for how I am currently living the word Force in a NEGATIVE way. I will be using my writings in the previous blog, Day 194: The Force - The Good, The Bad, The Downright Ugly as reference for this process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that Force is good, that Force is bad, and that Force is downright ugly, depending on the situation in which Force is used.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to be honest with myself that, in regards to Force, and all of the definitions and meanings that are attached to it, that I haven't experienced the word negatively unless it impacts me specifically in a negative way somehow - by going against my ideas, my beliefs, and my morality.
And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I have a negative experience with the word Force, to separate myself from what I'm seeing and hearing, to judge, and then to justify my negative experiences as well as the negative experiences and situations with others and the external environment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where myself and others can forced to do things that are not best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where myself and others are forced against our will.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where military, police, and other groups with weapons have authority to exert force upon myself and others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where individuals and groups are allowed to conquer other individuals and groups with violent force.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where myself and others are allowed to be hurt, assaulted, molested, raped, abused, and killed by force.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Force within the context of being forced to do things that are not best, forced to do things that are against my will and within this, being stuck. And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my imagination where, in my mind I play-out memories and or scenes of myself and others being harmed and/or killed by military, police, rapists, conflict, wars, and all sorts of weapons including those of 'mass destruction'.
I forgive myself that, as a child, I had accepted and allowed Force as being forced to do things that aren't best and/or being forced to do things against my will. I realize that as a child I did not have any say in the matter and that I actually was physically forced to do things by persons of authority. However, when I was old enough to be on my own, I did not question this authority and did not allow myself the opportunity to set myself free from it. Further, I see where I have perpetuated this idea of Force by forcing myself, my will, and my authority onto others.
Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word Force as me exerting myself onto others to get a desired result. And further, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for how I have been living Force and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from how I am living Force instead of changing.
I commit myself to no longer accept and allow a world where myself and others can be forced to do things that aren't not best.
I commit myself to no longer accept and allow a world where myself and others are forced against our will.
And within this, I commit myself to no longer accept and allow a world where military, police, and other psychotic individuals and groups have the authority to exert force upon myself and others. So thus I commit myself to no longer accept and allow a world where myself and others are allowed to be hurt, assaulted, molested, raped, and killed by force.
I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to ignore, deny or separate myself from how Force is being lived out by myself, others, and this world in an abusive way. And I commit myself to educate myself and then to show others how force is being lived out in an unacceptable way.
I commit myself to no longer accept and allow any psychopaths - those that deliberately exert abuse onto others for power and control - to have authority by committing myself to no longer allowing myself to separate myself from these beings, to understanding them, and to standing equal-to them. Here, I commit myself to take responsibility for the creation of these individuals and groups by seeing where and how they exist within and as me - as above, so below, as within, so without - and as I see them as me and me as them, I care for them as I would care for myself where I use the tools of self-forgiveness, self-correction, self-commitment as well as using the structure of Problem, Solution, Reward.
When and as I see that I am going into fear or have gone into fear in regards to the real physical and real scary forces that exist within this world, I stop and I breath. I realize that when I have allowed fear of force, that this fear has moved and influenced me - and as this fear, I react and do not make decisions that are best because I am not seeing clearly. So seeing all of this, I realize that fear of force and being cautious of force are not the same - fear moves me and being cautious is a self-directed action of common sense. That being understood, I commit myself to longer allowing myself to go into and/or be moved by fear of force and I commit myself to be cautious with force.
When and as I see that I am considering using force in an unacceptable way by attempting to coerce, manipulate, threaten and/or exert my self/my will onto others and the external world as a means to see my desired result, I stop and I breath. I realize that I must take responsibility for myself before I can expect that others/the world, can take responsibility - and that as I have solutions that I can share solutions. So, I commit myself to test out ways of directing myself, others, and my external environment - from the starting point of caring and what is best - and allow myself to change my way of doing things. And within this, I commit myself to no longer using the illusion of authority, scare tactics using my physical presence and possessions, threatening, or any other harmful or abusive form of Force.
