Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Day 31: You're JUST Like ME - I Trust You.

Trust.

I see that I have been trusting others when they first come into my life.  There are some that I trust immediately and some that I do not trust at all.  Those that I trust immediately are those that I am able to connect with via communication where if we have the same interests, behaviors, and/or personalities, I see myself in them and thus place my trust in them.  Those that I do not trust immediately are those that I am not able to connect with via communication where I do not see that we have the same interests, behaviors, and/or personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust others who have not yet shown nor proven to me who they are and what they stand for.  I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that what I am seeing of a person that I have just met is that person reflecting back to me what they see as themselves in me - this is not who they really are.  Despite the fact that over-and-over-again, others interests, behaviors, and/or personalities have 'miraculously and suddenly changed' from who and what I thought these people were, I did not allow nor want myself to see that this interest/behavior/personality change follows a pattern and thus should have been predictable.  I commit myself to stop trusting others until they have shown and proven over an extensive amount of time, that they are who/what they are and who/what they are does not change.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that the reason that I have trusted others and not wanted to see the pattern is that I WANT to trust others.  In spite of the fact that there has never been a human in this world that I have been able to maintain trust with, I still continue to look for someone to trust.  And trust, demonstrated in this way is not real because even though I want to trust another, I am looking for reasons NOT to trust them during the entirety of our relationship.  So, within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in a polarity trap of trust where I drive myself to find another that I can trust while at the same time, I collect reasons why I cannot trust another so that I am not able, in fact, to trust another.  I commit myself to remove myself from the 'I-Want-This-But-I-Fear-This' Polarity Trap.  When and as I see myself within the 'I-Want-This-But-I-Fear-This' Polarity Trap, I stop.  I realize that fear is not real - fear is created by me and for me and thus is me.  I commit myself to self-forgiving my fears and becoming equal and one with my fears.

Within this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted or allowed myself to see that my need, want, and desire to trust another is need, want, and desire to trust myself.  I fear myself and thus distrust myself.  I commit myself to remove my fear of myself as my fears as a step toward establishing trust with myself.


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