Day 65: I Have Lost All Respect For You - Part 3

ART By Anna Brix Thomsen

For previous writing and Self-Forgiveness in relation to this blog, see:
Day 64: I Have Lost All Respect For You - Part 2
Day 63: I Have Lost All Respect For You

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I lose respect, that I will not be able to 'show my face' in the the town that I live in, the city that I work in, and the places in my world that I frequently go to/like to go to - I fear that others in my environments will reject me, be afraid of me, be nervous around me, be uncomfortable around me, judge me, and 'look' at me as if to communicate that they think/see me as insane.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'physical places and the people within those physical places' to my fear of losing respect and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I lose respect because of something that I have written or expressed, that I will lose my job which will open up an entirely 'new can of worms' as consequence including, but not limited to, having to change jobs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'losing my job and thus having to change jobs' to my fear of losing respect - and thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how others will react if I write and/or express something that could be seen and/or interpreted as disrespectful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'how others will react to if I write and/or express something that could be seen and/or interpreted as disrespectful' to fear - thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I have experienced embarrassment when I write about 'secrets' that this is a result of my fear of loss of respect and fear of change.

More Self-Forgiveness in my next entry.